All in the Family (TV Series)

Archie in the Hospital (1973)

Rob Reiner: Michael 'Meathead' Stivic

Quotes 

• Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : What do you think it is, Ma?

  Edith Bunker : [Glued to the TV]  I gotta go along with Marcus Welby - I think it's a green apple bellyache.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : No, I mean with Archie.

  Edith Bunker : Oh, no! Archie never eats apples unless they're cooked.

• Archie Bunker : [Scornfully]  Look at him, gawkin' over his checkers!

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : It's not checkers, it's chess!

  Archie Bunker : [Annoyed]  I know it's chess, tell me something I don't know! I'll tell you something YOU don't know: that there is a commie game.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : [Scoffing]  Chess is a commie game?

  Archie Bunker : See, you didn't know that! The Russians force it on the children in kindergarten, instead of teaching 'em handball.