All in the Family (TV Series)

Archie in the Hospital (1973)

Carroll O'Connor: Archie Bunker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Archie Bunker : [upon seeing Jean for the first time]  Hey! You didn't tell me you was black!

  Jean Duval : You did not tell me you was white!

• Archie Bunker : I got some men under me, there: Stretch Cunningham, Black Elmo...

  Jean Duval : *Black* Elmo?

  Archie Bunker : That ain't his real name; see, we got two Elmos down there, so we call him Black Elmo so he don't get mixed up with regular Elmo.

• Archie Bunker : Hey, you ever run across that Frenchie singer, there... used to be alive... Morris Chevrolet.

• Jean Duval : I had an epidural cyst.

  Archie Bunker : Gee, that sounds like an important part of you...

  Jean Duval : I hope not - they opened me up and cut it out.

  Archie Bunker : [pauses]  I think I'll keep mine.

• Archie Bunker : [Scornfully]  Look at him, gawkin' over his checkers!

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : It's not checkers, it's chess!

  Archie Bunker : [Annoyed]  I know it's chess, tell me something I don't know! I'll tell you something YOU don't know: that there is a commie game.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : [Scoffing]  Chess is a commie game?

  Archie Bunker : See, you didn't know that! The Russians force it on the children in kindergarten, instead of teaching 'em handball.