- Edith Bunker: [in the kitchen, after having tasted the horsemeat and being told what it was, to Gloria] I'm sorry, Gloria - I just can't stop thinking of Mr. Ed!
- Archie Bunker: [Edith has been to see Father Majewski, and Archie is afraid that he made her a Catholic without her knowing it] Think carefully now, Edith. Did he splash any water on you?
- Edith Bunker: No.
- Archie Bunker: Did he give you any beads to play with?
- Edith Bunker: No.
- Archie Bunker: Did he make you eat a cookie?
- Archie Bunker: [Archie thinks Edith is converting to Catholicism and displays some pamphlets to Father Majeski that were given to Edith] Look at this one - Instructions on the Catholic Faith. Here's another one - The Holy Father's Newest Encyclical - as if anyone cares what he rides around on... .
- Father John Majeski: You know, Mr. Bunker, God works in mysterious ways... And you're one of his darkest mysteries.