All in the Family (TV Series)

Mike and Gloria Meet (1977)

Jean Stapleton: Edith Bunker

Quotes 

• Mike Stivic : Well, what about you two? What happened on your first date?

  Archie Bunker : [to Edith]  Oh, make believe you don't hear that!

  Edith Bunker : Ohhh, I'll never forget it!

  Archie Bunker : TRY, okay?

  Edith Bunker : I was at the Puritan Maid Ice Cream Parlour.

  Archie Bunker : Aw geez, don't make it a long story...

  Edith Bunker : Me and my cousin Maude...

  Archie Bunker : MMMMAUUUUUUUDE?

  Edith Bunker : ...We was having one of their specials. It was called a Steamboat. Oh, it was so delicious! Five different flavors! Anyway, Archie was sitting at another table with that fella, Jefferson Pratt, remember him? Well, anyway, Archie was trying to get my attention, so first he put two straws in his nose like a walrus...

  [Meanwhile, throughout Edith's entire monologue, Archie takes an imaginary gun out of his pocket, plays a few rounds of Russian roulette on himself, finally "killing himself" with much dramatic fanfare]