- Andy Taylor: I don't want him to be the kind of boy lookin' for fights, but I don't want him to run from one when he's in the right.
- Opie Taylor: [handing over a bundle of clothes] Would you take this down to the courthouse and hold it there for me?
- Andy Taylor: Well, I guess I could. Ch'you want me to do that for?
- Opie Taylor: Well, if somethin' was to happen that got my clothes tore and messy, I figured I could go over to the courthouse and change, so's Aunt Bee won't know about it.
- Andy Taylor: Oh, I see.
- Opie Taylor: You know how she is when a fella gets his clothes tore and messy!
- Andy Taylor: She sure does kick up a fuss, don't she?
- Opie Taylor: She sure does!
- Opie Taylor: You wouldn't like to sorta let me pass by your street today for free, would ya?
- Sheldon: Why should I?
- Opie Taylor: Well, then I could give Pa back a nickel I sorta owe him.
- Sheldon: Who's stoppin' ya?
- Opie Taylor: Well, If I give him back his nickel and I have to give you a nickel for passin' by your street, I ain't gonna have no nickel for milk, and boy, Sheldon, it ain't easy gettin' a peanut butter and jelly sandwich down dry!
- Sheldon: You know what I'll do to you if you tell anyone.
- Opie Taylor: Uh-huh. You'll pulverize me, then you'll knock my block off, then you'll give me the old one-two, then you'll jump on me.