Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Camping In (1973)

Trevor Bannister: Mr. Lucas

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Slocombe : In fact, that's how I met my husband, during an air raid. The bombs were raining down, and I saw his face, lit by an incendiary. He threw me on my face and said, "Look out - here comes a big one!"

  Mr. Lucas : I suppose there wasn't much time for chatting in those days.

• Mr. Ernest Grainger : Don't worry about the length of the fingers, Sir. You'll find they'll ride up with wear. And I'm sure you'll find they'll give every satisfaction. Don't you agree, Mr. Humphries?

  Mr. Humphries : Oh, yes, Mr. Grainger. It's very difficult to distinguish that plastic imitation leatherette from the real imitation leatherette.

  Mr. Ernest Grainger : And you'll find that the lining will keep the hands wonderfully warm. Won't it, Mr. Humphries?

  Mr. Humphries : Warm as toast, Mr. Grainger.

  Mr. Lucas : Yes, of course. That's because it's made from real imitation, simulated nylon fur fabric, you see?

  Mr. Ernest Grainger : Thank you, Mr. Lucas.

  Mr. Humphries : I wore a pair of those myself last season, and I had quite a lot of satisfaction. Didn't I, Mr. Grainger?

  Mr. Ernest Grainger : I believe you did, Mr. Humphries.

  Mr. Lucas : During the freeze up last winter, you know, when I couldn't fill my hot water bottle, I wore a pair of those on my feet and I got a lot of satisfaction. Didn't I, Mr. Humphries?

  Mr. Humphries : What you say Mr. Lucas, has a distinct ring of truth about it, despite the fact that you've only been with us, two months.

  The Leatherette Gloves : As a matter of fact, they're for the wife's brother. I don't like him very much.

  Mr. Humphries : Well, in that case, Sir. You couldn't have made a better choice.

• Captain Stephen Peacock : Oh, yes, it brought back memories of the army. The lads, the heat, the sunset and the endless shifting sands.

  Mr. Lucas : How long were you at Bognor Regis, Captain Peacock?

  Captain Stephen Peacock : Mr. Lucas, when you were at school, I was with some of the toughest soldiers in the world, chasing Rommel through the desert.

  Mr. Humphries : Some people have all the luck.

• Mr. Lucas : [about Mr. Grainger]  Hello, Churchill's having one of his catnaps again. Somebody better wake him up. It's time to go to bed.

  Captain Stephen Peacock : Mr. Humphries?

  Mr. Humphries : Are you free, Mr. Grainger?

  Mr. Ernest Grainger : [waking up]  Yes, yes, I'm free, Mr. Humphries.

• Mr. Lucas : Mr. Grainger, could I borrow your tape measure? I've got to take that gentleman's inside leg.

  Mr. Ernest Grainger : I'd prefer that you borrowed Mr. Humphries'.

• Mr. Lucas : Mr. Humphries, do me a favor. Take that man's inside leg.

  Mr. Humphries : Don't ask me. I've given it up for Lent.