- Bagley: Well, I'm always delighted to speak to the press. Particularly the Gotham Gazette. Actually, I don't consider myself merely a top criminal psychiatrist here at Arkham. I view my role as the last line of defense between Gotham and psychopaths like Penguin, Freeze, and my prize catch, Joker. In fact I've been invited to a banquet of honor tonight for Gotham's most inspiring citizens at Gotham Palace Theatre. And I have just enough time to grab my coat. Did I provide enough details for my profile?
- Alfred Pennyworth: Oh, you've been more of a help than you know, Dr. Bagley.
- [Bagley hangs up]
- Alfred Pennyworth: Pompous windbag.
- Batman: According to Arkham, Joker's still locked in his cell, has been all night long.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Perhaps Joker left some manner of decoy in his place.
- Batman: Could be, Alfred. But other things don't add up. Joker abducted Judge Wigzell but not before leaving him for the police and me to see.
- Alfred Pennyworth: You're not expecting Joker to actually make sense, are you?
- Batman: It was Joker's calling card. His way of announcing his plan.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Do you think there's more to come?
- Batman: Maybe Joker's out to collect a full deck of those who've crossed him.
- Alfred Pennyworth: 51 more victims? Where would you start?
- Batman: One name is sure to be on his hit list: The Batman.
- The Joker: [mutters to himself in his cell, until Batman appears] The Batman! What if I hadn't been decent?
- Batman: You're never decent, Joker. Why bother adding a stand-in to your card collection instead of me?
- The Joker: [Laughs] To drive you batty, of course. And look, it's working.
- Batman: [Grabs Joker] Answers, Joker.
- The Joker: Do you really think I'd send a flunky to eliminate my favorite sparring partner? I reserve that pleasure for me alone.
- Batman: Then why -
- The Joker: Because I miss your company, Batman.
- Batman: [pushes Joker aside]
- The Joker: We're two sides of the same card. After all, you knew where I'd send my look-a-like to find you. And I knew all along that if I left a trail of breadcrumbs, you'd gobble them up!
- Batman: Joker, you're not making sense. Why convince an orderly to do your dirty work when you could just have him unlock your cell?
- The Joker: Because you've always been my ace, Batman. My ace in the hole!
- [Laughs]
- The Joker: [Joker pulls out two sticks and plays a tune with no notes]
- Batman: What?
- [Joker blows out green Joker gas at Batman's face, causing him to collapse]
- The Joker: [Cackles] I don't need you in my card collection. I never play with a full deck!
- [Laughs]
- Batman: Where's the judge, Joker? How'd you manage to be in two places at once? And why the mime act?
- [Batman notices a recorder of Joker laughing and destroys it with his foot. He wipes at his face and sees it is makeup]
- Batman: You're a pale imitation. The real Joker doesn't wear makeup.
- [the red eyes fall off to reveal green eyes. Batman removes the rest of the mask to reveal a frightened young man]
- Nolan: Don't hurt me!
- Batman: Who are you?
- Nolan: Nolan. I'm an orderly.
- Batman: Arkham?
- Nolan: Joker said he'd do me in unless I helped him with his plan. Gave me the keys to his place to bring him stuff and -
- [Batman pushes Nolan aside]
- Batman: Who else is Joker after?
- [Nolan uses the large gun in defense. Suddenly a flag pops out of its spout, saying "Surprise"]
- Batman: Surprise?
- [the gun aims on Nolan, instead of Batman, and turns him into a full deck]
- Batman: I left Joker's understudy in clown storage for the time being. Joker clearly didn't want him talking.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Why not chip the fellow out and question him further?
- Batman: Because I'm through being Joker's fool. I'm gonna get my answers straight from the horse's mouth, at Arkham Asylum.
- [Joker mutters to himself in his Arkham Asylum cell when Batman appears]
- The Joker: The Batman. What if I hadn't been decent?
- Batman: You're never decent, Joker. Why bother adding a stand-in to your card collection instead of me?
- [Joker laughs]
- The Joker: To drive you batty, of course. And look, it's working.
- Batman: Answers, Joker.