The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)
Clampett City General Store (1964)
Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett
Photos
Quotes
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Milburn Drysdale : That's the plan for Clampett City. You'll have forty-story buildings here.
Jed Clampett : We like it the way it is.
Milburn Drysdale : But you'll make millions.
Jed Clampett : I got millions.
Milburn Drysdale : You'll make more millions.
Jed Clampett : I don't need 'em.
Milburn Drysdale : But, surely you'll want them?
Jed Clampett : What fer?
Milburn Drysdale : So you'll have them.
Jed Clampett : I got 'em.
Milburn Drysdale : But you'll make more.
Jed Clampett : I don't need 'em.
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Jed Clampett : Now, these small-town boys are different. They're more friendly. You'll get yourself a husband in no time at all.
Elly May Clampett : I will?
Jed Clampett : You play your cards right, you will.
Elly May Clampett : Well, what do I do?
Jed Clampett : Well, first off, you get yourself into a dress, and be your own sweet, purty self, and the first thing you know, some boy will ask you out.
Elly May Clampett : Well, out where?
Jed Clampett : Well, out to a church social, a husking bee, something.
Elly May Clampett : Well, then what?
Jed Clampett : If you play your cards right, he'll ask you out again, to dance, or moonlight hayride, something real romantic.
Elly May Clampett : Well, then what?
Jed Clampett : Well, play your cards right, first thing you know, you're married!
Elly May Clampett : Well, is that all there is to it?
Jed Clampett : Elly, I reckon I didn't tell it very good, but, uh, that card-playing can be a heap of fun!
Jed Clampett : [later] Granny, I think you best have a talk with Elly about courting and such.
Daisy Moses : I thought you was gonna do that.
Jed Clampett : I tried, but the way I left it, first fella that asks for her hand is liable to wind up holding a fistful of cards!