The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)
Sam Drucker's Visit (1969)
Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett
Quotes
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Jethro Bodine : Which room do you want me to put your dentist chair in, Granny?
Daisy Moses : I think I'll just let you bolt it down to the bed of the truck.
Jed Clampett : You figger to practice here on the truck?
Daisy Moses : Why not? You know how people hate to go to the dentist. This way, the dentist will go to the people.
Jed Clampett : You think folks is ready fer curb service dentistry?
Daisy Moses : Ready, willin' and anxious. Why just driving along, the minute they seen this chair, their mouths just fell open.
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Daisy Moses : Granny, why don't you tell Sam Drucker the truth?
Jed Clampett : I aim to, Jed.
Daisy Moses : Good.
Jed Clampett : Just as soon as I'm Mrs. Sam Drucker, I'll confess everything.
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Daisy Moses : Ther's goin' to be some grown-up courtin' in here. Sam Drucker's comin' to town.
Jed Clampett : To see you?
Daisy Moses : He ain't comin' to see Mae Busch.
Jed Clampett : What about that sayin' your granny had down there in Tennessee?
Daisy Moses : My grandpa had another sayin': "Old violins make the sweetest music. Course, you have to have the right beau."
[Jed is unimpressed]
Daisy Moses : That's a witty sayin' Jed.
Jed Clampett : Not too witty.
Daisy Moses : Well, it beats "Well doggies".
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Elly May Clampett : Granny! Granny! Come quick! The Lone Ranger's ridin' up the driveway.
Jed Clampett : The Lone Ranger! He's my hero!
Dash Riprock : [wearing a mask and riding a white horse] Hi-yo Granny.
Jed Clampett : I'm comin', Kemosabe!
[Granny runs outside]
Jed Clampett : Here I am!
[Granny jumps on back and rides away with Dash]
Sam Drucker : Who was that masked man?
Elly May Clampett : Don't you know? That's the Lone Ranger.