- Granny: [after Granny ran a foot race against Elly May] Who won, Jed?
- Jed Clampett: Well when you passed me, appears like Elly was out in front of you a little.
- Granny: That don't mean nothin'! She's out in front of me standing still.
- Granny: Elly May, get these varmints outa here!
- Elly May Clampett: But Granny, they ain't varmints, they is my critters!
- Granny: I don't care if they is your cousins, git em outa my kitchen before I make stew outa them!
- Jed Clampett: You know what, Granny? The city of Beverly Hills is gonna have a queen.
- Granny: No!
- Jed Clampett: And you know how they're gonna pick the queen?
- Granny: How?
- Jed Clampett: They're gonna have all the girls run a foot race!
- Granny: Well, I'll be switched.