Bewitched (TV Series)

...And Then I Wrote (1965)

Dick York: Darrin Stephens

Quotes 

• Darrin Stephens : What happened?

  Samantha Stephens : I kissed you, I guess.

  Darrin Stephens : I know you kissed me, but has that got to do with anything?

  Samantha Stephens : Well, when I kiss you, I can't think about anything else. And when I stop thinking, they disappear. Now you kiss me.

  Darrin Stephens : Why, are they back?

  Samantha Stephens : No, just for the heck of it.

• [first lines] 

  Doctor Passmore : Good afternoon. Mrs. Stephens?

  Samantha Stephens : Yes.

  Doctor Passmore : I'm Doctor Passmore. Is Mr. Stephens in?

  Samantha Stephens : No, I'm sorry, he isn't, but I expect him soon. Won't you come in, Doctor?

  Doctor Passmore : Oh, thank you. Oh, just by the way of introduction, I am cheif psychiatrist at Meadowbrook Rest Home. Our guests are aware of the fact that this is the centennial of the year which marked the end of the War Between the States, and uh... they'd like to do something about it.

  Samantha Stephens : Aren't they a bit late?

  Doctor Passmore : Mrs. Stephens, they would like to commemorate the event.

  Samantha Stephens : Yes, of course. Well, what's this got to do with Darrin?

  Doctor Passmore : Well, it's necessary for us to inform the public of our undertaking. That means advertising, and I understand your husband excels in that field.

  Samantha Stephens : Oh, he does. And it sounds like a wonderful idea. I'm sure I can vouch for Darrin. And I'm certain that he'll be happy to do your publicity.

  Doctor Passmore : Oh, really? Then I may depend upon it?

  Samantha Stephens : For such a worthy cause? I give you my word.

  Darrin Stephens : [some time later]  You gave him your word? Honey, I'm right in the middle of planning the Jarvis account, I'm drawing the Slater TV commercials, and I'm racing the time clock planning that Murphy's Supermarket opening, and you gave him your word.

  Samantha Stephens : Darrin, please.

  Darrin Stephens : Well, then I'll give you my word. In a word, "No".

  Samantha Stephens : I thought you wanted me to be interested in civic things.

  Darrin Stephens : I do. So, what are you doing for this noble project? Sam, I couldn't do it even if I wanted to. My knowledge of the Civil War is slightly less than limited.

  Samantha Stephens : I could help. Mine's perfect.

  Darrin Stephens : [phone rings]  Hello? Hello, Doctor Passmore... Well I'm happy to do it... Oh, well, ah, could I make a suggestion? I think that my wife wife would be perfect for it... Oh, yes, an expert... She'll do it... I give you my word... Bye.

  Samantha Stephens : Do what?

  Darrin Stephens : Write the pageant.

  Samantha Stephens : Write the... Me?

• Samantha Stephens : Well, I've learned something very important tonight.

  Darrin Stephens : What's that?

  Samantha Stephens : Never let your husband criticize on an empty stomach.

• Darrin Stephens : Sam, I can't understand why you don't do something. You're a witch.

  Samantha Stephens : With a perfectly normal subconscious, and nobody can control their subconscious. Besides that, since I've started writing, I have an over-stimulated imagination.

  Darrin Stephens : Well, then forget the whole project. Tell Passmore to get somebody else.

  Samantha Stephens : Well, I can't go back on my promise.

  Darrin Stephens : Honey, he'll understand. He's a psychiatrist. His life is filled with broken promises.