- Endora: [Darrin is sleeping on the couch] What a lovely looking couple
- [referring to Darrin]
- Endora: except for him. Does his mouth always gape open like that.
- Samantha Stephens: Only when he's sleeping.
- Endora: Oh, Samantha. I don't understand you at all. I mean, if you had to marry a mortal, at least you could have chosen a better-looking specimen.
- Samantha Stephens: I like the way he looks. Besides I didn't marry Darrin just for his looks.
- Endora: What else, his vivacious personality?
- Samantha Stephens: No one sparkles when they're asleep. Anyway, I think he's quite handsome.
- Endora: You're joking.
- Samantha Stephens: He's got very good features.
- Endora: Name one.
- Samantha Stephens: Well, he has a nice firm jaw.
- Endora: You like lantern jaws?
- Samantha Stephens: He's got a nice mouth.
- Endora: 'Slack' is a better word.
- Samantha Stephens: How about his eyes?
- Endora: Beady.
- Samantha Stephens: Darrin, are you mad at me?
- Darrin Stephens: No, that's not the word.
- Samantha Stephens: Furious?
- Darrin Stephens: You're getting warmer.
- Darrin Stephens: Joe, has your wife ever tried to change your face?
- Bartender: Twice. Once with a rolling pin, and once with a seven-iron.
- Gladys Kravitz: Abner, believe me, there was a strange lady driving their car.
- Abner Kravitz: There's only one strange lady around here, Gladys.