Bewitched (TV Series)

It Shouldn't Happen to a Dog (1964)

Jack Warden: Rex Barker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rex Barker : I don't drink any more. Of course, I don't drink any less, either!

• Rex Barker : Hi.

  Darrin Stephens : What are you doing here?

  Rex Barker : Well I just dropped by to tell you I signed with your outfit, provided you handle the account.

  Darrin Stephens : You expect me to work with you after what happened?

  Rex Barker : Oh, forget it. I've got a problem. Some of my best friends have knocked me cold. Hey, listen, if you and your wife are ever in Columbus, Ohio, I... Oh, forget it.

  Darrin Stephens : Sam! They want me back on the job.

  Samantha : Well, I'm not surprised.

  Darrin Stephens : You didn't have anything to do with this, did you?

  Samantha : Of course not, everybody wants you because you're the best there is. Now how about taking me out to celebrate?

  Darrin Stephens : Goo idea. I'll get my hat.

  Samantha : Uh-uh. Don't you dare move.

• Rex Barker : What'd you think of the label? The way it's packaged?

  Darrin Stephens : Frankly, Mr. Barker, I think there's room for improvement.

  Rex Barker : Hmm. I designed it myself.

  Darrin Stephens : I still think there's room for improvement.

• Rex Barker : Did...? Did you open the can?

  Darrin Stephens : I did.

  Rex Barker : Taste the product?

  Darrin Stephens : No, Mr. Barker. I'm not crazy about baby food. It's a little, uh, bland for my taste.

  Rex Barker : What's bland about strained bananas and squash with buttered beef hearts? It's delicious. In fact, it's so good, you hate to give it to your kid.

• Rex Barker : The slogan. "Barker's is so good, you hate to feed it to your child."

  Darrin Stephens : Well, I'd rephrase that, Mr. Barker. "Barker's is so good... you can hardly resist eating it yourself." Something like that.

  Rex Barker : You like rephrasing things I say, don't you?

  Darrin Stephens : I like being honest.

• Larry Tate : You said "first-rate." I presume you were referring to Stephens' portfolio.

  Rex Barker : No, I was referring to his wife.

• Larry Tate : But about the campaign, did you have a chance to look it over?

  Rex Barker : I haven't even had a chance to look her over yet. She's been in and out of that kitchen all evening. Oh, there she is. Oh, she's quite a girl. Yep.

• Samantha : Mr. Barker, I'm warning you. If you don't get control of yourself, I'm going to do something drastic.

  Rex Barker : Promise?

• Rex Barker : That must have been some party last night.

  Larry Tate : What did you do?

  Rex Barker : I don't know. But whatever it was, I won first prize.

  Larry Tate : What happened to your hair?

  Rex Barker : I haven't the faintest idea.

  Darrin Stephens : It looks good.

  Rex Barker : Yeah. You ought to see my chest. It's all... ruffled.

  Darrin Stephens : Why don't you sit down?

  Rex Barker : Yeah. Oh! Seems like I backed into a cactus bush or something.

• Rex Barker : I usually drink it with carrot juice. I get just as smashed, but I can see better after dark.

• Samantha : How are you feeling, Mr. Barker?

  Rex Barker : Miserable, thanks. But this'll straighten me out. A little hair of the dog that bit me. Know what I mean?