Bewitched (TV Series)

Long Live the Queen (1967)

Herbert Ellis: Stranger

Quotes 

• Darrin Stephens : I tell ya a man can take just so much then he has got to walk.

  Stranger : You're so right.

  Darrin Stephens : "It's just for a year," she says. "Okay," I say, "Call me in about a year. I'll be at Joe's Bar & Grill."

  Stranger : I know how you feel. I've got a problem with my wife too - her mother.

  Darrin Stephens : With all due respect, friend, your problem can't be as bad as mine. My wife is queen of the witches!

  Stranger : She can't be! My mother-in-law's got that job!

• Darrin Stephens : Well, I'm just not going to stand for it in my house. If I have to, I won't go home for a year!

  Stranger : It's just about a year since I've been home.

  Darrin Stephens : I mean it, I... It is?

  Stranger : I never should've told my mother-in-law to get out of the house! She owns it.

  Darrin Stephens : You hadn't seen your family in all that time?

  [the bartender rolls his eyes. The stranger begins sobbing] 

  Stranger : I went back once about six months ago. My kid didn't recognize me; and the dog bit me and he's my dog!

  [the stranger drops his head on the counter and sobs some more] 

  Bartender : Comes in every night and cries like that.

  Darrin Stephens : Wow.

  Bartender : You know, pal, this job gives me a chance to see some pretty good observations. Now he thinks his mother-in-law's a holy terror and you think your wife's queen of the witches. But if the truth be it known, they all got their good points. Right, pal?

  Darrin Stephens : They sure do, pal. They sure do.