Bewitched (TV Series)
Long Live the Queen (1967)
Dick York: Darrin Stephens
Quotes
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Darrin Stephens : I tell ya a man can take just so much then he has got to walk.
Stranger : You're so right.
Darrin Stephens : "It's just for a year," she says. "Okay," I say, "Call me in about a year. I'll be at Joe's Bar & Grill."
Stranger : I know how you feel. I've got a problem with my wife too - her mother.
Darrin Stephens : With all due respect, friend, your problem can't be as bad as mine. My wife is queen of the witches!
Stranger : She can't be! My mother-in-law's got that job!
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Darrin Stephens : Well, I'm just not going to stand for it in my house. If I have to, I won't go home for a year!
Stranger : It's just about a year since I've been home.
Darrin Stephens : I mean it, I... It is?
Stranger : I never should've told my mother-in-law to get out of the house! She owns it.
Darrin Stephens : You hadn't seen your family in all that time?
[the bartender rolls his eyes. The stranger begins sobbing]
Stranger : I went back once about six months ago. My kid didn't recognize me; and the dog bit me and he's my dog!
[the stranger drops his head on the counter and sobs some more]
Bartender : Comes in every night and cries like that.
Darrin Stephens : Wow.
Bartender : You know, pal, this job gives me a chance to see some pretty good observations. Now he thinks his mother-in-law's a holy terror and you think your wife's queen of the witches. But if the truth be it known, they all got their good points. Right, pal?
Darrin Stephens : They sure do, pal. They sure do.
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Samantha Stephens : Oh, Darrin, I'm sorry.
Darrin Stephens : Sam, I want you to abdicate.
Samantha Stephens : What?
Darrin Stephens : I want you to quit!
Samantha Stephens : But I can't, I just took the oath of office!
Darrin Stephens : Okay, you said you couldn't refuse the crown, okay! You've been queen for a day, that's enough!
Samantha Stephens : No it isn't.
Darrin Stephens : I say it is!
Samantha Stephens : I have to serve for at least a year.
Darrin Stephens : You didn't tell me that!
Samantha Stephens : I didn't? Oh... well I, uh, uh, um, um, well I guess you didn't ask. Oh now, Darrin, please b-be reasonable. A year isn't very long. You'll see how quickly it'll pass, then I'll quit.
Darrin Stephens : In that case, call me in about a year! I'll be at Joe's!
Samantha Stephens : Joe's?
Darrin Stephens : Joe's Bar & Grill!