- Jaime Sommers: [Jame notices her left arm is sunburned] Oh Rudy! Can't you make a bionic skin that tans?
- Jaime Sommers: [puts on a wrap and sunhat] The least you can do is make me some bionic baby oil.
- Oscar Goldman: Miss Sommers, are you always in the habit of reading other peoples top-secret briefs?
- Lisa Galloway: [posing as Jaime Sommers] Well only when I'm sitting in their chair.
- Oscar Goldman: Well get out of that chair. Get me some coffee!
- Lisa Galloway: Yes sir.
- Oscar Goldman: While I read top-secret briefs.
- Lisa Galloway: Chauvinist.
- Jaime Sommers: Hey listen, as far as I know, I've got the patent on this face. Now if somebody is cranking 'em out in quantity, I think it's up to me to do something about it.
- Matthews: You hop out here, I gotta go park around the front. I'll meet you in his office.
- Jaime Sommers: [posing as Lisa Galloway] Okay, who's office?
- Matthews: Courtney's, who else?
- Jaime Sommers: Albert Schweitzer.
- Dr. James Courtney: How do I know you're not the real Jaime Sommers?
- Jaime Sommers: [smokes cigarette, coughs] Because I'm prettier.
- Dr. James Courtney: Sommers is alive?
- Lisa Galloway: Oh yeah. They caught me. And I saw her before I excaped!
- Baxley: I don't believe it! She was tied to an anchor.
- [last lines]
- Jaime Sommers: What's gonna happen to Lisa?
- Oscar Goldman: She's going to prison.
- Jaime Sommers: Really?
- [impersonating Lisa's southern accent]
- Jaime Sommers: Lookin' like Lisa Galloway?
- Oscar Goldman: No, Jaime Sommers. It's gonna take a year for that scar tissue to heal before it'll be safe to have any more plastic surgery. So you're gonna have a jail-bird for a twin.
- Jaime Sommers: Oh, terrific!
- Oscar Goldman: Well that won't be bad, as long as she stays put.
- Jaime Sommers: Well how would you like it if there were two Oscar Goldmans?
- Oscar Goldman: I'll worry about that when it happens.
- [they enter the lobby of Oscar's office]
- Jaime Sommers: Oh, I'm just going to make a phone call first.
- Oscar Goldman: Okay.
- [walks into his office and sees the Oscar statue that Lisa Galloway was using for target practice]
- Oscar Goldman: Jaime!
- Jaime Sommers: Yes, Oscar?
- [sarcastically to the statue]
- Jaime Sommers: Why, you look so pale. What you need is a trip to the Bahamas.
- [picks up the statue and walks out of Oscar's office]
- Jaime Sommers: It's a fantastic place to go swimming. You're just gonna love it.