- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: [to Charlie, seeing southern California for the first time and observes it is nothing but a barren desert] It sure ain't never gonna amount to much!
- Adam Cartwright: [to Hoss] ... Yeah, Little Joe warned me if I went on a trip with you I'd be eating cow fodder.
- Adam Cartwright: [to Hoss] Oh I don't think so. It's sort of like bees and honey. You and cow food just seem to go together.
- Micah Bailey: The only private thing out here, mister, is the hole you get buried in. And even that's liable to get disturbed by a thieving Apache!
- [first lines]
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: Can't you load it any faster, Joe?
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Can't I load it any faster?
- Adam Cartwright: Think I ought to go along, Pa?
- Ben Cartwright: Adam, this isn't really our affair.
- Adam Cartwright: Isn't it? Then why did you wire a thousand dollars to the lawyer in Los Angeles.
- [last lines]
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: What does she mean by that?
- Micah Bailey: She means if you'd be any smarter, you'd still be the second dumbest man in creation, and you're looking at the first.
- Adam Cartwright: It's a toss up.
- Micah Bailey: Charlie, get them out of my station before anything else happens.