- Xander Harris: Guys, guess what happened.
- Willow Rosenberg: Buffy got a date!
- Xander Harris: No, *I* did!
- [looks at Buffy]
- Xander Harris: Fine way to steal my thunder.
- Buffy Summers: Sorry. If it makes you feel better, it's Principal Wood, and I think he's aligned with The First.
- Xander Harris: Also, like ten years older than you, right?
- Willow Rosenberg: Which is like 100 years younger than your type.
- Buffy Summers: Yay. Someone who doesn't remember the Industrial Revolution.
- Willow Rosenberg: No, it's a text message. Oh, it's from Xander. It's one of our signals.
- Amanda: Signals?
- Willow Rosenberg: Yeah, the system we set up a while back. Like codes. Uh, this one's either, "I just got lucky. Don't call me for a while," or "My date's a demon who's trying to kill me."
- Kennedy: You don't remember which?
- Willow Rosenberg: It was a long time ago.
- Dawn Summers: Well, if we play the percentages...
- Rupert Giles: Something's eating Xander's head.
- Anya: Say, that's gratifying.
- Spike: Heard you got a date.
- Buffy Summers: Well, it's unclear. I mean, I have this whole theory about a promotion. Or he's evil.
- Spike: Buffy, I'm all right.
- Buffy Summers: You don't have to...
- Spike: What? Be noble? I'm not. Really, I'm all right. Think I still dream of a crypt for two with a white picket fence? My eyes are clear.
- Buffy Summers: Good. I'm glad. Thank you.
- Spike: Never much cared for picket fences, anyway. Bloody dangerous.
- Buffy Summers: Why do you think he asked me out? I mean, he could be interested, right?
- Willow Rosenberg: Yeah, sure. You're a frisky vixen.
- Buffy Summers: Or-Or it could be work related. Maybe I'm getting promoted for doing such a good job.
- [Willow laughs, then notices Buffy's hurt look and looks apologetic]
- Willow Rosenberg: Oh, right. That- That makes sense, too.
- Buffy Summers: Or maybe he knows that I suspect he's up to something, and he's taking me out to kill me.
- Willow Rosenberg: Well, you'll have to dress for the ambiguity.
- Buffy Summers: You know, it's not even that he's acting that suspicious. It's just, there he is, on the Hellmouth, all day, every day. That's gotta be like being showered with evil, only from underneath.
- Willow Rosenberg: Not really a shower.
- Buffy Summers: A bidet. Like a bidet of evil.
- [Buffy, Spike and Xander enter the house to find the Scoobies waiting up for them. Xander's shirt is wrapped around his waist as a surrogate bandage]
- Willow Rosenberg: What happened?
- Xander Harris: What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on. Let's gay.
- Willow Rosenberg: What?
- Xander Harris: You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I-I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula right now. That's a start, isn't it?
- Andrew Wells: [sighs] Captain Archer...
- Xander Harris: Come on. Let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here.
- Buffy Summers: What if you just start attracting male demons?
- Dawn Summers: [chuckles] Clem always liked you.
- Rupert Giles: Those are flash cards. I-I made them to facilitate her training. Chao-Ahn never had a Watcher. With the-the language problem...
- Willow Rosenberg: You showed her these?
- Rupert Giles: I wanted her to understand the seriousness of her situation.
- Dawn Summers: Holy crap!
- [Dawn holds up drawing of a woman ripped in half]
- Rupert Giles: Perhaps I'll rethink the approach.
- Jonathan Levinson: [as The First] Did you find the gun?
- Andrew Wells: Yes. It was in Buffy's underwear drawer. She has nice things.
- Jonathan Levinson: [as The First] Show me.
- Andrew Wells: Well, I didn't take 'em, but there were thongs and regular underpants.
- Jonathan Levinson: [as The First] Show me the gun.
- Willow Rosenberg: Buff, if, if he's really interested, are you, interested back?
- Buffy Summers: I don't know. He's good looking. And, he's-he's solid, he's smart, he's normal. So *not* the wicked energy, which is nice, 'cause, I don't wanna only be attracted to wicked energy. Uh, what if he *is* wicked. In which case, is that why I'm attracted to him?
- Willow Rosenberg: I'm gonna wait for that sentence to come around again before I jump on.
- Jonathan Levinson: [as The First] Andrew, I want you to think. Willow brought something to this house. Something good. Something you can use.
- Andrew Wells: The new microwave?
- Andrew Wells: [to The First] Say, um, do you have any weaknesses I should know about if I'm gonna work for you? Like, uh, kryptonite or allergies?
- Buffy Summers: No. You have to stay.
- Spike: No, you've got another demon fighter now.
- Buffy Summers: That's not why I need you here.
- Spike: Is that right? Why is that then?
- Buffy Summers: 'Cause I'm not ready for you to not be here.
- Principal Robin Wood: Hey, Buffy?
- Buffy Summers: Yeah?
- Principal Robin Wood: Um, what're you doing tonight?
- Buffy Summers: Preparing for tomorrow's counseling sessions.
- Principal Robin Wood: No, really.
- Buffy Summers: Watching a reality show about a millionaire.
- Principal Robin Wood: Well, then, I'd, um, I'd like to take you out to dinner, if that's all right with you. I mean, you don't have to. I'm certainly not saying, "Come to dinner if you enjoy having a job."
- [chuckles then stops]
- Principal Robin Wood: You know, I may have to make up a little document saying I didn't just say that and have you sign it.
- Buffy Summers: Sure. I'd be happy to have dinner with you.
- Principal Robin Wood: Great. I'll draw up the paperwork.
- [last lines]
- Nikki Wood: [as The First] Would you like to know who killed me...? I know you went looking for him.
- Principal Robin Wood: You don't know anything.
- Nikki Wood: [as The First] Is that right? Well, you can check it out after I tell you. Check the timing, reread what the witnesses said. And the people on the subway station...
- Principal Robin Wood: Who is it?
- Nikki Wood: [as The First] You met him. You know him. You fought at his side.
- Principal Robin Wood: Spike.
- Nikki Wood: [as The First] Now, what do you say?
- Principal Robin Wood: Thank you.
- Willow Rosenberg: How about yours? Is she evil?
- Xander Harris: She's interested in me, so there's a good chance. But I'm hoping for the best.
- [first lines]
- Rupert Giles: [flashback] I understand. I'll take care of...
- [Giles stops the ax, takes it away and cuts the Bringers head off]
- Rupert Giles: It was, uh, extraordinary good luck, of course, and-and, uh, and training, years of training. Well, uh, Chao-Ahn, keep up. You're new here, Chao-Ahn, so take note. Remember about training. But I-I honestly feel the largest part of it was instinct, instinct and-and reflexes. There's a sort of wary watchfulness I've developed over the years. It's like another sense...
- [Giles gets tackled to the ground]
- Buffy Summers: Spike!