Joss Whedon wanted the scenes to be long which is why there are four scenes (other than the Christmas scene). Whedon has stated that he wanted to capture how time feels stuck when grief strikes. There is no music, either, because Whedon said that music is a comfort to the audience.
According to Joss Whedon's DVD commentary, the episode begins with the flashback of the gang's Christmas dinner because he didn't want the cast and crew credits to appear over the main scene of Buffy finding her mom.
This episode features only diegetic sound; Joss Whedon explained that music comforts the audience, and he wanted this episode to be touching and horrifying at the same time.
Joss Whedon has said that throughout her time as Joyce's body during the filming of this episode, Kristine Sutherland only blinked on-camera once, which was taken out using CGI.
Joss Whedon's rejection of the "very special episode" format impelled him to address the physicality of Willow and Tara's relationship. Before this episode, they had held hands and danced on screen, but they had not kissed. A genre of television specials dealing with female homosexuality developed as the "lesbian kiss episode" in the 1990s, where a female character kissed another female but no relationship is further explored. Whedon set out to acknowledge Willow's and Tara's affection without making it the primary focus of the show. For attempting this, he received resistance from the airing network, the WB. Whedon informed them that the kiss between Willow and Tara was "not negotiable". According to Whedon, the conversation about the kiss was approached by the network executives, who were concerned with the number of gay relationships on the network. Whedon countered that the kiss was "true to character" and said he would quit the show if the network forbade it. It was the only time during the series he threatened to do so.