Clueless (TV Series)

City Beautification (1996)

Rachel Blanchard: Cher Horowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cher Horowitz : [opening lines, voiceover, Rodeo Drive shop-till-you-drop to the tune of "It's a Beautiful Life"]  I guess you can say that I'm blessed. I mean, here I am, living in the greatest shopping country in the world, and don't think I don't appreciate it.

  [prize purchase slung over her shoulder, then back at home, unpacking] 

  Cher Horowitz : Dee, you look so Betty.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Well, you are beyond Betty, you are approaching Demi.

  Josh : [in room]  Ugh.

  Cher Horowitz : [to Dee]  You are pushing the Uma envelope.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Oh, thank you.

  Cher Horowitz : [voiceover]  Dee and I are getting ready for the gala grand opening of Alonzo Marcus, a way exclusive European designer store,

  [scoffs] 

  Cher Horowitz : which isn't easy in the same room as my oats-scarfing non-stepbrother.

  Josh : Ugh, okay, so let me get this straight. You're buying clothes in order to go to the store where you can buy clothes...?

  Cher Horowitz : Of course. You never walk into a store looking like you need clothes, I mean, they're not going to give you the time of day. You have to make them respect you.

  Josh : Gee, silly me, I thought people respect you because of your character, your integrity.

  [Dee yawns dramatically] 

  Josh : Hey, at least I'm trying to do something useful here. I'm volunteering to help Joe Pasadine get elected to the State Assembly. Maybe we can finally get some regulations on toxic dumping and auto emissions.

  Cher Horowitz : Josh, you're so C-Span.

  Josh : That's a good one.

  [rises, leaves] 

  Cher Horowitz : [voiceover]  It's always great to slam-dunk Mr. Holier-Than-Thou, so why did it give me this general feeling of ickiness?

• Cher Horowitz : [teacher wants them to redo their homework assignments]  Aw, this is so Shawshank!

• Mr. Hall : You see, I think the reason that you are having trouble, is that you're so... so sheltered. In order to understand literature, you have to learn about suffering, unfulfilled dreams and unrequited love, lost hope...

  Cher Horowitz : [with empathy:]  Big white whales?

• Mr. Hall : [taking her to the notice board]  So, I saw these new announcements on my way in today. I want you to pick a community activity. Doesn't matter which one. Point is it's gonna put you into contact with real people.

  Cher Horowitz : [doubtful]  Couldn't I just write a paper?

  Mr. Hall : No, this is gonna be good for you.

• Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [Cher's on her tummy perusing help-wanted notices]  Cher, what are you doing? Are you still looking for volunteer stuff? Here, let me find you something good.

  [a little while later, on her back next to Cher] 

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Delivering meals to the elderly? Hello! Isn't that like being a waitress at Lenny's?

  Cher Horowitz : [scoffs]  Here, look at this. Donating blood! Eww!

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [in unison]  Eww!

  [they both recoil in horror] 

  Cher Horowitz : Hold it, Dee!

  [found something] 

  Cher Horowitz : City beautification. Help restore a classic city park.

  [gasps] 

  Cher Horowitz : Oh, this would be so perfect for us!

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Did I hear the us word?

• Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [renovating advice to dour no-nonsense official]  This month's InStyle. Stellar, the Andie McDowell range. Oh! You should really pick that up, it would be really helpful.

  Ms. Sorenson : [nodding]  Andie McDowell, huh?

  Cher Horowitz : [surveying ruined park]  You know, I really think we got here just in time.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Uh.

  Cher Horowitz : And by the way, have you noticed the garbage?

  Ms. Sorenson : You really have quite an eye, don't you? We're lucky to have you. There's only one thing we ask of our volunteers on the first day.

  [yelling:] 

  Ms. Sorenson : Get your butts into the shed and change into your work clothes! Everybody!

• Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [she and Cher in orange jumpsuits]  Do these come in any other color?

  Ms. Sorenson : I'm so sick of you spoiled Beverly Hills kids. You come out here to earn a little extra credit or work off a traffic ticket, and then you end up sitting around on your butts while the real volunteers do all the work.

  Cher Horowitz : Are you calling us faux? Because we are really so fully volunteering.

  Ms. Sorenson : I suggest you get your volunteering tails into gear!

• Mel Horowitz : [regarding his voluntary work]  Superb flyer. Concise, emotional. You did a great job.

  Josh : All right, great, do you think it will help getting him elected?

  Mel Horowitz : Not a prayer. The guy's unelectable. But don't get me wrong. I like that you're volunteering. It's good to take up a cause while you still have ideals.

  Cher Horowitz : [entering, groaning]  Oh.

  [sighs] 

  Cher Horowitz : It was awful. I felt like I was on a chain gang without the ankle bracelets.

  Josh : [scoffs]  This does not surprise me. You know, it's hard to picture you taking up a cause that's not yourself.

  Cher Horowitz : Excuse me, but I have donated many cute little Italian outfits to the Goodwill.

  Josh : You needed the extra closet space.

  Cher Horowitz : [scoffs]  Well, how about when I boycotted Vapes?

  Josh : They make you break out.

  Cher Horowitz : [scoffs]  I volunteered to help save the rain forest.

  Josh : [smirks]  Oh, and that had nothing to do with Billy Baldwin speaking at the fund-raiser?

  Cher Horowitz : [tries:]  The fact that Billy and I are so deeply concerned about the environment...

  [he scoffs] 

  Mel Horowitz : [interrupting]  All right, you two, I would like to get some work done here. Cner, you got some homework?

  Cher Horowitz : Yes, Daddy.

  Mel Horowitz : Josh, you wanna be a lawyer one day, right?

  Josh : Yes, Sir.

  Mel Horowitz : Then go get my briefcase from the car.

• Cher Horowitz : [voiceover]  My clean freak stepbrother has no idea. I do so many helpful things for the world.

  [to Dee, as they pull weeds in the overgrown park] 

  Cher Horowitz : See what they did before Nautilus?

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : You know, I can't believe I let you talk me into this. I'm gonna have to explore our power dynamic.

  Ms. Sorenson : [calling them over]  Ladies!

  Cher Horowitz : [gladly giving it up, rising]  Oh...!

  Ms. Sorenson : Well, you'll be happy to hear we lost our funding...

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Oh!

  Ms. Sorenson : ...so you can go home, and you'll get full credit.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [overjoyed]  We're free! Oh my God, we have so much work to do. First, we have to get this sand-blasted. Then we have to get manicures, facials, full spa treatment!

  [she grabs Cher by the hand and pulls her along] 

  Mother : [outside park, at gate, to her child]  Sorry, honey, this place is too dirty. You could get hurt. Come on, let's go.

  little boy : [wailing]  No...!

  Mother : Come on, sweetie. It's too dirty...

  little boy : [very unhappy]  No...

  Mother : It's dirty...

  [leads him off] 

  little boy : [so disappointed]  No...!

  Mother : [trying to soothe]  I know... I know, sweetie...

  Cher Horowitz : [voiceover, guiltily observing]  I had the perfect way out. I was as free as Anna Nicole Smith's modeling agent. So why was I bumming?

• Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [as Cher is about to pull the tab off a can of soft drink]  Careful. Your nails are still vulnerable from your manicure.

  [as Cher hesitates, Tai wordlessly takes the cool drink from her hands] 

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Why are you stressing?

  Cher Horowitz : Dee, I'm going through severe...

  [Tai pulls the tab with her teeth and hands over the opened can] 

  Cher Horowitz : oh, thank you... emotional upheaval.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Perhaps some therapeutic shopping is in order?

  Cher Horowitz : [lights up]  Barney's is having a sale on Daddy's favorite shorts.

• Cher Horowitz : You see, I was supposed to clean up this park, which really bummed me, but... then they ran out of money and we couldn't clean up the park... and that actually bummed me even more.

  Mel Horowitz : Oh, what do they need money for?

  Cher Horowitz : I don't know. Like rakes and bags and stuff.

  Mel Horowitz : Well, that couldn't cost much.

  Cher Horowitz : Yeah, but they also need a bunch of people to help clean up.

  Mel Horowitz : Picking up garbage, how hard can that be?

  Cher Horowitz : Well, there's no supervisor.

  Mel Horowitz : Supervisor? Oh, I don't suppose there's anybody you know who's good at organizing people, is there?

  Cher Horowitz : [catches breath]  Oh, you mean, like Mel Gibson? In that movie where the Irish won't fight back against those other people, but he leads them into battle, and then he gets his guts torn out with a meat-hook?

  Mel Horowitz : [doesn't really know about popular culture]  Right.

  Cher Horowitz : I just got a great idea.

  [blows him a kiss] 

  Cher Horowitz : Thank you, Daddy!

• Cher Horowitz : [voiceover]  I was no Mel Gibson, but I am still feeling way satisfied working for a cause.

  Tai : [steps on a rake, and the handle hits her on the side of the head]  Ow!

  Ms. Sorenson : What's going on here?

  Cher Horowitz : Hi, Ms. Sorenson. We're working for a cause. We're giving the park a complete makeover.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : We're being totally selfless.

  Ms. Sorenson : [scoffs]  You're being totally stupid.

  Cher Horowitz : Oh, no, we don't care about the credit.

  Ms. Sorenson : Would you care about insurance? Do you care about permits? Do you care about liability? Because the City does.

  Cher Horowitz : We can't just clean up a park?

  Ms. Sorenson : Oh, sure. What if everybody just went wandering around cleaning and fixing things? You have a thing or two to learn about government, honey.

  Cher Horowitz : So what should we do?

  Ms. Sorenson : Oh, you can try calling the City Park departments, and getting a permit.

  Cher Horowitz : [down]  Thanks...

• Josh : Mr. Pasadine insisted on seeing you.

  Joe Pasadine : So, this is the park that Josh was telling me about. I really admire your impetus.

  Cher Horowitz : [misunderstands, looks down at her outfit]  Oh, well, thanks, but I mean, it's really just a flattering dress.

• Cher Horowitz : [voiceover]  Would you believe that after all that work, I only got my grade up to a B+, and on top of that, we missed the grand opening of Alonzo Marcus, which was totally grievous. But two weeks later, we made a killing at their bankruptcy sale.

  [coming home with hordes of laden shopping bags] 

  Cher Horowitz : Like they say, all's well that is well.

  [the two friends scamper merrily up the mansion's stairs with their purchases]