Clueless (TV Series)

Kiss Me Kip (1996)

Ingo Rademacher: Kip Killmore

Quotes 

• Kip Killmore : [as Mel opens the door]  Hi, Mel! How's it going, mate?

  Cher Horowitz : [spying, with Dee, from vantage point on balcony, pulling in her breath]  He said 'mate'!

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : He really talks like that.

  [gushing] 

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Oh, Cher, I must admit, he is true husband material.

  [as the two men go up the stairs, Cher groans, shivering with delight] 

• Amber Mariens : [regarding the rime of The Ancient Mariner]  Mr. Hall, I think it's like this Alaia I bought last year, and I have never worn, and it just hangs in my closet, because every time I go to put it on, the color is like... mud. I... I know exactly how the poor mariner must have felt.

  [sits down] 

  Mr. Hall : [the class doesn't get it]  Let's just go back to the poem. Oh, and now, let's not forget our special little rule.

  [Sean has a portable TV] 

  Mr. Hall : No General Hospital while we're in session.

  Sean Holiday : But... but Mr. Hall, we need to know if Jax is gonna stay with Brenda after his secret marriage to Miranda has been revealed. You see, it's just now getting juicy.

  Amber Mariens : Yeah.

  Mr. Hall : [undeterred, reading from the book]  It is an ancient mariner, and he stoppeth one of three...

  Cher Horowitz : [voiceover]  While Mr. Hall was droning on and on about a guy with a dead sea-gull around his neck, I couldn't take my mind off poor Kip.

  Kip Killmore : [Cher's daydream, awards ceremony]  And I never would have gotten here if Cher Horowitz hadn't warned me about Summer. And showed me what true, selfless love really meant. Mrs. Kilmore...

  [extending his trophy towards her] 

  Kip Killmore : This one's for you.

  Cher Horowitz : [thinks:]  Oh, he's so flawless. I wonder where he is right now?

  [consults the appointment book, pulls in her breath] 

  Cher Horowitz : He's with Daddy! I wonder what they're meeting about? It must be something really selfless and heroic.

• Kip Killmore : [inside the restaurant]  Look, Summer, I'm really sorry, I have no idea how all these people knew that we were gonna be here.

  Summer Bonet : Oh, I don't care.

  [little laugh] 

  Summer Bonet : You know, it's just I wanted to be alone with you, you know, so we could talk about your future and, uh, that contract... cos you know that I care so much about you... and you definitely need a guardian to take care of all that talent.

  Kip Killmore : Yeah. And no one else cares about my talent.

  [she giggles] 

  Cher Horowitz : [voiceover]  All I could do was watch helplessly as Summer weaved her vixen web, and then suddenly an even more hideous obstacle.

  Amber Mariens : [arriving]  Uhm, Kip,

  [gushes] 

  Amber Mariens : I really hate to bother you, but... would you mind if I had a picture with you?

  Kip Killmore : Hey, sure.

  [Summer scowls] 

  Kip Killmore : Ah, but just... just one.

• Amber Mariens : [faked coughing]  Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm just... really allergic to cheap perfume.

  [to Summer:] 

  Amber Mariens : Could you just create some distance so that I can breathe?

  Summer Bonet : [seething]  I'll be at the bar.

  [leaves] 

  Kip Killmore : [going after her]  Summer! Summer, wait!

  Cher Horowitz : [voiceover]  This was it! Amber had unwittingly created my window of opportunity.

  Kip Killmore : [catching up to Summer]  Listen...

  Cher Horowitz : [closing in]  Excuse me...

  Kip Killmore : [stopping in his tracks]  It's you!

  Cher Horowitz : Hello...?

  Kip Killmore : Summer, this is the girl that's been causing me all those problems.

  [cellphone in hand, pointing at Cher:] 

  Kip Killmore : Stay!

  [on phone:] 

  Kip Killmore : Mel? Kip. Listen, I want you to take out a restraining order on this teenager. Oh, she's blond, about fifteen, and never leaves a person alone! Yeah? Yeah?

  [to Cher:] 

  Kip Killmore : Is your name Cher?

  Cher Horowitz : [takes the phone from him]  Hi, Daddy. Sorry, I'm going to fix this, and I will call you right back.

  Kip Killmore : You're Mel's daughter?

  Cher Horowitz : Yeah. And there's something I think you should hear.

  Summer Bonet : [on tape]  "And I told you that I am playing the female lead in Tarantula, even if Kip has to stop production to make..."

  [she tries to grab the device] 

  Summer Bonet : Give me that!

  [recording continues:] 

  Summer Bonet : "I mean, come on, he's a two-bit hack! He's so dumb, he's gonna do whatever I tell him to."

  [to Kip:] 

  Summer Bonet : Kip! Kip, it was just negotiating, you know? I... I was playing hardball.

  Kip Killmore : [stunned]  You called me... a hack.

  Summer Bonet : Yeah. Well, I mean... it was, it was a tactic, you know, a strategy.

  Kip Killmore : You know what, Summer? I don't think this relationship is exactly what I thought it was. I think you'd better leave.

  Summer Bonet : Fine, if that's the way you want it after everything that I have done for you.

  [turns, glares at Cher, scoffs, leaves] 

  Cher Horowitz : [to Kip, who is looking at her with new eyes]  I know I have been such a mosquito, but I just had to warn you.

• [last lines] 

  Kip Killmore : [in restaurant]  Well, you... you had a good motive. Listen, since... since you're here, and I have no one to eat dinner with, uhm, would you like to join me?

  Cher Horowitz : [little jump of excitement]  Oh, really? Oh, sure! Uhm...

  [grabbing hold of herself] 

  Cher Horowitz : Okay. Yeah, sure.

  [as they sit down for meal, voiceover:] 

  Cher Horowitz : I tried to act totally norm like having dinner with a legend was no big deal, but I was freaking.

  Kip Killmore : So...

  Cher Horowitz : So, do you do any of your own stunts?

  Kip Killmore : Oh, yeah. Tons. Like, every time you see me walking, like, really fast in a movie,

  [gestures, making whistling sound, laughs] 

  Kip Killmore : well, that's me.

  Cher Horowitz : [her enthusiasm already dampened]  Oh, cool... So, didn't you get to travel to a bunch of really exotic places, I mean, Paris and Tahiti and the Arab Emirates?

  [dreamily, expecting romance:] 

  Cher Horowitz : Oh, what was Paris like? Was it romantic?

  Kip Killmore : [studying his own arms, total egotist]  Do these cuts look defined to you?

  Cher Horowitz : Uhm, they're awesome.

  Kip Killmore : [bitterly]  Or are they the cuts of a hack?

  Cher Horowitz : No! No! So, when you're not making movies, what do you do with your friends?

  Kip Killmore : Well, I've kinda been too busy to make too many friends. Actually, to be honest, I find it hard to meet anyone who's more interesting than me.

  [laughs] 

  Cher Horowitz : [disillusioned, voiceover]  I suddenly realized maybe Kip wasn't so perfect or deep or even vaguely interesting. How did I do so poorly on my love SATs? Hanging with him would be like hanging with that Ancient Mariner guy, only Kip would be the dead sea-gull. In the end, I would much rather be hanging with my own real friends.

  Sean Holiday : [scene shifts, Cher is playing softball with her buddies]  Okay, Cher, you rock! Keep your eyes on the ball, make me proud, come on, make me proud!

  [everybody having big fun]