Corner Gas (TV Series)

Mail Fraud (2005)

Fred Ewanuick: Hank Yarbo

Quotes 

• Lacey Burrows : Do you ever imagine yourself traveling somewhere you're not?

  Hank Yarbo : No. I can't pull it off. I've tried. I've, uh, pictured myself on an island, and then I imagine some pretty girl rubbing oil on my back, and then I imagine her boyfriend pounding my face in, and then I imagine I'm suddenly made out of steel and a laser gun grows out of my shoulder and I start shooting at the guy.

  Lacey Burrows : That's what you imagine every time?

  Hank Yarbo : Oh, no. Sometimes a bazooka comes out of my chest.

• Wanda Dollard : [confronting Brent on his "staycation"; Lacey tries to stop her]  Dear Brent: I know you're on vacation, but if you get a chance, maybe in between your pedicure and your mud bath, you can fix the debit machine like you said you would. All the best. Wanda.

  Brent LeRoy : Dear Wanda: You can do it. Sincerely, Brent.

  Wanda Dollard : Dear Brent: I don't have the pass codes to fix the machines, do I? P.S.: Your shirt's ugly.

  Hank Yarbo : [joining them]  Dear Brent: If you were any kind of pal, you'd bring me over there with you instead of leaving me here.

  Brent LeRoy : Dear Hank: If I wanted you here, I would have stayed there.

  Hank Yarbo : Dear Brent: You suck out loud!

  [he leaves] 

  Wanda Dollard : P.S.: You've got pasty white chicken legs.

  [she leaves] 

  Brent LeRoy : Dear Lacey: I can't help but get the feeling you've ruined a good thing. Wish you were here so I could thank you in person.