Corner Gas (TV Series)

Merry Gasmas (2005)

Brent Butt: Brent Leroy

Quotes 

• Lacey Burrows : What is a Dog River Christmas like, anyway? I bet it's great!

  Wanda Dollard : Oh, there's snow, and, um... um... uh...

  Brent LeRoy : Wind. Sometimes it's windy.

  Wanda Dollard : Cold, usually.

  Brent LeRoy : And then we eat.

  Lacey Burrows : Careful not to build it up too much.

• [about "Chew-Bot," the toy Wanda got for her son's Christmas present, a half-goat, half-robot action figure] 

  Wanda Dollard : Trans-Farmers. They're the hottest thing out there. All the stores sold out of them months ago.

  Brent LeRoy : How'd you get one?

  Wanda Dollard : Well, it was just a matter of analyzing the market data, spotting a trend...

  [flashback: Wanda wrestles with a fellow shopper for the last remaining Chew-Bot] 

  Wanda Dollard : Back off or you'll be sucking your Christmas turkey through a tube!

• Wanda Dollard : At first it's a goat. But then when there's trouble, it's a robot! And when there's real trouble...

  [the toy goat's head accidentally pops off] 

  Brent LeRoy : Oh, cool! The head comes off!

  Wanda Dollard : The head came off!

  Brent LeRoy : Oh. The head's not supposed to come off.

  Wanda Dollard : [trying to reattach the head]  No, no, no, no!

  Brent LeRoy : Well, they don't build robot goats like they used to.

• [Hank stores donated gifts at Corner Gas] 

  Wanda Dollard : That's Chew-Bot!

  Hank Yarbo : Well, you can't have this one. This one's for needy people.

  Wanda Dollard : Yeah? Well, right now I'm needing it!

  [She lunges for it; Brent grabs her] 

  Brent LeRoy : Whoa, Wanda! Come on! You can't do that! It's for poor people and it's Christmas!

  Wanda Dollard : You're right. Stupid poor people.

• Hank Yarbo : How's Christmas at the Leroy home?

  Brent LeRoy : Terrible. Mom's making real food right on the stove. They've got a new tree. It's made out of wood. Wood!

  Wanda Dollard : [dryly]  This could be the worst Christmas ever.