The Cosby Show (TV Series)

Off to See the Wretched (1990)

Bill Cosby: Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vanessa Huxtable : May I please just have my punishment now?

  Clair Hanks Huxtable : Vanessa, please. Your father and I have been through too much this evening to be sitting up here thinking of a punishment for you right now.

  Vanessa Huxtable : [pathetically]  But I'd like my punishment before I go to bed.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : [Clair lunges towards Vanessa and he has to stop her]  Do yourself a favor and go to bed.

• Rudy Huxtable : Oh, look! There's Frankie X. on the T.V. right now! He's from the Wretched!

  News Reporter : In other entertainment news lead singer Frankie X said in a news conference that he wanted to thank the citizens of Baltimore for letting the Wretched play there in Baltimore tonight...

  Clair Hanks Huxtable : Did he just say that the Wretched are in Baltimore tonight?

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : That's what he said.

  Rudy Huxtable : Vanessa went all the way to Baltimore. WOW!

• Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : [Clair's been yelling at her, recounting Vanessa's story]  What were you thinking?

  Vanessa Huxtable : I wasn't thinking

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : You got that right.

• Clair Hanks Huxtable : Cliff tell me, have you ever been to Wilmington for donuts?

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : Not on the weekend.

• [Vanessa, devastated, is ordered up to her room by a furious Clair in tears; Clair is unmoved by this, as the former was wrong for what she did] 

  Clair Huxtable : [to Cliff, still upset but a bit calm]  We're gonna have to do something about this child's honesty, Cliff. Now, how are we gonna get Vanessa to be honest about something she wants to do when she knows darn good well we do NOT want her to do it? And I say that tonight, before we put head to pillow to rest in this house, you and I are gonna figure this one out!

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : [acting a different character, but to Clair]  All right, Roy. You get the pad and the pencil and bring 'em on into the chuck wagon, and I'll fix some coffee and some beans and a side of pork and, uh, we'll see what we can do about catching all the desperadoes.

• Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : I gave you permission to tell me a joke. I didn't give you permission to use the phone. Do you know how much money it costs?

  Olivia Kendall : Yes. The man on TV said, "95 cents a minute."

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : And you had that phone laying there all that time?

  Olivia Kendall : Yes.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : That was about five dollars of my money you spent. Five dollars and you didn't even make me laugh!

• Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : And do me another favor, please. If you're thinking about running away from home, please don't take my car.

• Clair Hanks Huxtable : [after she hangs up the phone]  Cliff, I don't know if you're ready for this. That was Kara's mother. She just received a call from the police department of Wilmington, Delaware. It seems that Kara's brother's car was found on the side of the road stripped. When they apprehended the thief, he confessed to having stolen the car from a parking lot of a local donut shop. So, the police went to the donut shop and they spoke to the woman behind the counter, who gave them a description of four girls, that fits the description of our four girls and said that they asked her, "How do we catch the bus to Baltimore?" They don't even bother to call and report that the car has been stolen, no, they get on the bus and go to Baltimore to be with the wretched and have big fun. I say, we should get ourselves together and go over to Susan's house, and meet Vanessa because you know they're going back there.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : I want you to do me a favor. From where my heals are to where I land I want you to mark, how far I jumped.

  [Cliff makes a big leap] 

  Clair Hanks Huxtable : Alright, see right there.

  [Clair walking from where he landed to the start of the jump] 

  Clair Hanks Huxtable : That's about eight feet.

  Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable : Eight feet? Add another three to that. Because when we see Vanessa, that's how far away from her I will have to be.