Quotes
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Jill : [about the film "Lesbian Spank Inferno"] How could you possibly enjoy a film like that?
Steve : Oh, because it's got naked women in it! Look, I like naked women! I'm a bloke! I'm supposed to like them! We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view. Look, it's the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that is what being a bloke is. And if you don't like it, darling, join a film collective. I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of the table here. But that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that's what being a bloke is. When Man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said: "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!" As soon as Caxton invented the printing press we were using it to make pictures of - hey! - naked bottoms. We've turned the Internet into an enormous international database of... naked bottoms. So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Frankly, girls, I'm not so sure how insulted you really ought to be.
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[after Susan has found a video tape in his Steve's VCR]
Jeff : Well?
Patrick : Porn?
Steve : Yes.
Patrick : Which one?
Jeff : Not... Inferno?
Steve : Inferno.
Jeff : Oh, my god!
Patrick : No problem.
Steve : What?
Patrick : As long as she hasn't watched it, you can't tell anything from a title like "Inferno".
Steve : Patrick, "Inferno" isn't the full title.
Patrick : Well, how bad can it be?
[scene cuts to Sally]
Sally : "Lesbian Spank Inferno".
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Steve : I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of that table, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die!
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Jill : How could you possibly enjoy a film like that?
Steve : Because it's got naked women in it. Look, I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view. Look, it is the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that is what being a boy is. And if you don't like it darling, join a film collective. Look, I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of that table there. But that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that's what being a bloke is. When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark. As soon as Gutenberg invented the printing press, we were using it to make pictures of, hey, naked bottoms. We've turned the Internet into an enormous international database of naked bottoms. So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Frankly, girls, I'm not sure how insulted you really ought to be.
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Steve Taylor : What film is erotic?
Sally Harper : Well, I found "The Piano" very erotic.
Steve Taylor : Oh, come on! The Piano?
Jane Christie : All men hate that film.
Jeffrey 'Jeff' Murdock : I liked it. Holly Hunter was naked in the most of it.
Sally Harper : She was nude in one scene!
Jeffrey 'Jeff' Murdock : Depends how you watch it.
