Coupling (TV Series)

Inferno (2000)

Ben Miles: Patrick Maitland

Quotes 

• [after Susan has found a video tape in his Steve's VCR] 

  Jeff : Well?

  Patrick : Porn?

  Steve : Yes.

  Patrick : Which one?

  Jeff : Not... Inferno?

  Steve : Inferno.

  Jeff : Oh, my god!

  Patrick : No problem.

  Steve : What?

  Patrick : As long as she hasn't watched it, you can't tell anything from a title like "Inferno".

  Steve : Patrick, "Inferno" isn't the full title.

  Patrick : Well, how bad can it be?

  [scene cuts to Sally] 

  Sally : "Lesbian Spank Inferno".

• Jeff : Oh, wouldn't that be great.

  Patrick : What?

  Jeff : Being a lesbian. All the advantages of being a man but with less embarrassing genitals. Plus, every time you have sex, there's four breasts! Two guest breasts and two you can take home afterwards, oh, it's bloody brilliant!

• Patrick : I like films with lesbians in them, 'cause it's nice to think there are attractive women out there who can't find a boyfriend.

• Patrick : Excellent!