- Bellman: This is your key, access to your room. It's a card. This is a card slot. Simply insert the card into the slot, there's a beeping, wait a second, firmly apply pressure, and in you go.
- Larry David: That's fascinating.
- Bellman: Some of the amenities quickly. You have a telephone; dial 9 to get out. Uh, a television here. And you have a remote control for power on and off, channel up and down, volume up and down. A minibar also underneath.
- Larry David: Got it, got it.
- Bellman: Thermostat for air temperature control.
- Larry David: Yeah, I've seen those.
- Bellman: Uhh, bathroom with a shower.
- Larry David: To turn on the water you go like that with your wrist and the water comes out?
- [makes twist motion]
- Bellman: Y-yes. Uh, the cold is on the right.
- Larry David: Uh-huh, okay. And that's a window?
- Bellman: Yes.
- Larry David: You walk over to it and you can look out. Is that what it's for?
- Bellman: Yes.
- Larry David: All right, excellent. I think I got everything. The floor is for standing. I think I got it. It's kinda complicated. I'll go over it again.
- Christina: [at dinner] Did you know that spicy food makes a man's cum taste delicious?
- Larry David: I did not know that.
- [douses his food with hot sauce]
- [after Larry turned down sex from Cady Huffman because she had a Bush picture in her dressing room]
- Jeff Greene: What the fuck were you thinking! A picture of Bush, who gives a flying fuck? I'd fuck her with a Bush mask on!