- Capt. George Mainwaring: [when Jones volunteered to be thrown over the fence] That's the spirit! I like to see some guts!
- Sgt. Arthur Wilson: And you probably will...
- [Captain Ramsey is playing the part of a Gestapo officer, to train the Dad's Army in how to resist torture and interrogation by the Germans]
- Captain Ramsey: [miming his actions as he holds up Wilson's hand] I'm putting matches under your finger-nails. I'm setting light to them. Burning down. Now they've reached your fingers. You're in agony. How do you like that?
- Sgt. Arthur Wilson: [not really entering into the spirit of the pretence] Well, to be absolutely honest, it isn't really bothering me very much.
- Captain Ramsey: Now, Captain. You are in a balloon, travelling across enemy territory with your men here. The balloon is losing height. You must push one of them out. Which one will you choose?
- Capt. George Mainwaring: Ah.
- [pauses]
- Capt. George Mainwaring: I think I should call for a volunteer.
- Captain Ramsey: Can't do that. You must make a decision and choose one.
- [to Godfrey, Frazer, Pike and Walker]
- Captain Ramsey: What must he do?
- Pte. Charles Godfrey, Pte. James Frazer, Pte. Frank Pike, Pte. Joe Walker: Make a decision and choose one!
- Capt. George Mainwaring: I prefer to throw myself out, naturally, but I realise that I am too valuable for that. So, I'm afraid it would have to be Private Godfrey.
- [Godfrey looks appalled]
- Captain Ramsey: [to Frazer] Comment!
- Pte. James Frazer: Sound common sense!
- Captain Ramsey: [to Pike] Comment!
- Pte. Frank Pike: Well, whoever's thrown out, it certainly shouldn't be me. I've got the whole of my life ahead of me. I haven't done nothing, no living at all.
- Pte. Joe Walker: All the more reason you should be the one. I mean, what you've never had, you'll never miss.
- Sgt. Arthur Wilson: [to Ramsey] Excuse me, sir. If the balloon's losing height, we could wait until it hits the ground, and then Godfrey could just step out.
- Pte. Charles Godfrey: Oh, thank you, Mr Wilson.
- Sgt. Arthur Wilson: Not at all, my dear fellow.
- [Ramsey looks speechless at Wilson's remark]