Darkwing Duck (TV Series)

Can't Bayou Love (1991)

Terence McGovern: Launchpad McQuack

Quotes 

• Darkwing Duck : I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the scourge that... pecks at your... uh, your nightmares and...

  [He notices Launchpad's shadowy figures] 

  Darkwing Duck : Launchpad, what are you doing?

  Launchpad McQuack : [chuckles]  It's a birdie. Wanna see my doggy?

  [Launchpad does some dog barking and more giggling] 

  Darkwing Duck : [angrily]  LAUNCHPAD!

  Launchpad McQuack : Sorry, D.W.

  Darkwing Duck : [clears throat]  I am the terror...

  Spokesperson : [interrupts]  Oh! That horrible man is getting away with the donations!

  Darkwing Duck : I know that! I know that! I am the terr- Oh, never mind!

  [Darkwing draws his dart gun] 

  Darkwing Duck : Eat dart, smug breath!

  [His dart catches the money and pulls the donations away from Jambalaya Jake] 

  Jambalaya Jake : Let go of that money!

  [Darkwing pulls Jake and the money towards him] 

  Darkwing Duck : [referring to Jake]  Way too small. I'll have to throw this one back... into jail!

• Jambalaya Jake : I got a special kinship with the reptile... 'cause I'm such a snake.

  Launchpad McQuack : Heh, no argument there.

• Darkwing Duck : Something tells me we're getting very close to Jambalaya Jake's hideout.

  Launchpad McQuack : How do you know, D.W.? Is it your crime fighter's intuition? Your superior intellect?

  Darkwing Duck : No, I feel it in my foot.

  [Darkwing lifts up his foot and reveals a bear trap] 

  Darkwing Duck : [screaming]  GET ME OUTTA THIS!

• [Darkwing is watching over the city via telescope] 

  Darkwing Duck : Somewhere, a swamp fiend and his very large alligator are wait for their chance. But St. Canard can sleep peacefully because Darkwing Duck is watching over them. No matter what rock they crawl under, Darkwing Duck will smoke them out.

  [Smoke appears before Darkwing's view] 

  Darkwing Duck : [panicking]  THE CITY'S ON FIRE! IT'S THE BLAZE OF THE CENTURY! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! CALL THE POLICE!

  [He begins to notice smoke in his face] 

  Darkwing Duck : CALL MY INSURANCE COMPANY!

  Launchpad McQuack : How about a brownie, D.W.?

  [Launchpad walks up with some freshly baked brownies] 

  Darkwing Duck : You baked them? And you used a recipe, right?

  Launchpad McQuack : You bet. Got it from the Gulp and Gourmet on TV. Of course, I improvised a little...

  [Darkwing tries a brownie, breathes out fire, and coughs. He races to a water jug, gulps it down, and settles down] 

  Launchpad McQuack : So, you ready for another?

  Darkwing Duck : Uh, no thanks, Launchpad. I'm on a liquid diet.

  [Darkwing walks away, his weight being held down by the water he just drank] 

• Drake Mallard : [examining the damage in his kitchen]  Alligator footprints... and pieces of Launchpad's scarf. Either Launchpad's breaking a new pair of alligator shoes, or he's in the clutches of that swamp shrimp!

  Launchpad McQuack : [screaming off-screen]  HELP!

  Drake Mallard : So much for the alligator shoe theory.