- Eileen Swift: Check out this company's prospectus for me. It's a new airline called Class Air. Now, half of the plane is first class and the other half is coach.
- Brian Harper: Well, what's so special about that?
- Eileen Swift: The people in coach wait on the people in first! Pop goes the union!
- [Molly walks in and finds Brian playing with a Ken and Barbie]
- Molly Farrell: What are you doing playing with dolls?
- Brian Harper: Well, I-I-I, I was just warming them up... for you.
- Molly Farrell: You honestly expect me to believe that?
- Brian Harper: I did.
- Brian Harper: Don't disturb the baby. She was crying all night.
- Eileen Swift: What, did she just break up with someone?
- Molly Farrell: Kate's using her loud voice!
- Kate Harper: I'm sorry, Molly, I didn't see you.
- Molly Farrell: Well, I'm here.
- Kate Harper: Eileen's here?
- Ross Harper: Yeah, she hasn't been over in, oh, I'd say 8 or 9 hours. It's kind of a homecoming for her.
- Kate Harper: God, am I tired!
- Ross Harper: Well go back to bed, Mom. I've always found there's no problem too big you can't sleep through.
- Kate Harper: Was I imagining things or was Emily crying ALL through the night?
- Brian Harper: Oh gee, I think she quieted down around midnight.
- Kate Harper: I distinctly remember hearing crying at three in the morning.
- Ross Harper: Uh, Ma, that was me.
- Brian Harper: What were you crying about?
- Ross Harper: Well, Godzilla Vs. Rodan was on TV. I always root for Rodan... He always loses... Poor guy!
- Kate Harper: Today is our field trip to the petting zoo. I want to be there for it. The children love nothing better than petting baby goats!
- Ross Harper: Oh, it's quite a thrill for the goats too.
- Kate Harper: My, we're a little cranky this morning.
- Ross Harper: Well, aren't we the pot calling the kettle black? You practically bit Dad's head off for trying to decaffeinate you.
- Kate Harper: I'm not cranky, I'm cheerful. When I was a child, they used to call me Sunny!
- Brian Harper: To your face?
- Ross Harper: What did you do to your hair? It looks radiant!
- Kristin Carlson: I poured turpentine on it to get Justin's gum out. I smell like a tool shed.
- Ross Harper: Oh, that I were a lawnmower in that tool shed.
- Brian Harper: Oh, that I could get you near the lawnmower in our tool shed.
- Martha: I have some reservations about Blake going on this field trip. I don't want him petting anything in the big cat family. Leopards, tigers, pumas.
- Brian Harper: Oh, that's too bad. They're usually so good with children.
- Eileen Swift: You know, I've never said this before but, uh, I consider you my best friend.
- Kate Harper: You do?
- Eileen Swift: Well, I'll go further than that. Um, you and Brian are my only friends. Why do you think I'm here all the time? To play with the Etch A Sketch?
- Eileen Swift: Kate, the reason you are so tired all the time is because you are pushing yourself too much. I see it happen all the time! I know women who get up at the crack of dawn and exercise, eat three power-meals, but they've left no time for themselves.They're totally hollow! And I think it's very sad.
- Kate Harper: Well Eileen, thank you for the concern, but isn't that kinda like what you do?
- Eileen Swift: Yeah, but I make a fortune!
- Kate Harper: I didn't mean to let all of you down today, but don't you ever have one of those days when you just feel you're not good at what you're doing?
- Molly Farrell: No, not really.
- Eileen Swift: Well Brian, it is time to celebrate the tax-dodge of the century! The office has agreed to pay me in emeralds!
- Brian Harper: Isn't that against the law?
- Eileen Swift: Oh, please! They go with my eyes!