Dinosaurs (TV Series)

The Last Temptation of Ethyl (1992)

Florence Stanley: Grandma Ethyl Phillips

Quotes 

• Charlene : [Ethyl's unconscious]  Grandma, can you say something?

  Robbie Sinclair : Hey look, look, I think she's coming around.

  Earl Sinclair : No no no no no, no the hole's already dug, let's get on with it.

  Ethyl Phillups : Not so fast fat boy.

  [takes Earl's shovel and hits him in the face with it] 

  Earl Sinclair : [groans]  I knew I should've had her cremated.

  [falls down unconscious] 

  Ethyl Phillups : .Where am I?

  Robbie Sinclair : Grandma, we brought you home from the station. We were worried.

  Charlene : Yeah, we better call your producer, I mean he thought you were dead.

  Ethyl Phillups : Let him think whatever he wants, I'm not going back.

  Fran Sinclair : But why, Mom? I thought you loved talking about the afterlife.

  Ethyl Phillups : I do, Fran, but if I'm ever gonna go back, I can't just sit around watching the grass grow. What I'm going to do is enjoy life and love each and every one of you... starting tomorrow.

  Fran Sinclair : Why not today?

  Ethyl Phillups : Because today, there's a perfectly good hole in the backyard and we're gonna bury fat boy in it.

  Earl Sinclair : [comes around]  What?

  [Ethyl hits him with the shovel again and he's knocked unconscious] 

  Baby : Again!

  [hits his toy dinosaur on the head with a toy shovel and laughs] 

• Grandma Ethyl : I wanna see my husband. I'm dead and I know my rights.

• Ethyl : I've decided to enjoy life and love all of you. Starting tomorrow.

  Fran : Why not today?

  Ethyl : Because today there is a perfectly good hole in the backyard and we're going to bury fat boy in it.

• Ethyl Phillups : Sounds interesting. What exactly did you have in mind?

  Announcer : And now, live via satellite from the cavernous Paradise Shrine where Route 19 meets Interstate 5, it's The Afterlife Show. Starring Ethyl Phillips and her aspiring tales from beyond.

  Ethyl Phillups : How ya doin'?

  Announcer : And the 1,000 voice Ethyl choir.

  Choir Lead : [singing, to the tune of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"]  I looked to the light and what did I see...

  Choir Lead , Chorus : Comin' for to carry me home.

  Choir Lead : I saw Ethyl in her wheelchair/ coming out to me.

  Choir Lead , Chorus : Comin' for to carry me home/ Give dough/ To the Ethyl Show/ Give enough to carry you home.

• [Ethyl has died the second time and into the afterlife] 

  Louie : [echoing]  Ethyl! Ethyl!

  [Ethyl sees her late husband in a bubble] 

  Ethyl : Louie, is that really you?

  Louie : Hiya, cupcake!

  Ethyl : Oh, Louie it's so good to see you! Am I finally good and dead?

  Louie : Not yet.

  Ethyl : Oh, will you guys stop jerking my chain! I'm dead, I'm alive, I'm dead, I'm alive. If I wake up with dirt in my mouth again...

  Louie : Take it easy, cupcake, they sent me here with a message: stop pushing the afterlife.

  Ethyl : But Louie, it's so beautiful up here.

  Louie : It's just as beautiful where you are, Ethyl. It's more beautiful, because it's life; and you only get a little bit of it. And if you don't live every day of your life to the fullest, you have an eternity to regret it.

  Ethyl : But Louie, I miss you.

  Louie : I miss you too, sweetheart. But it's not your time yet.

  Ethyl : Will we be together, Louie?

  Louie : Soon enough, cupcake, but you've got to go back now; and stop trying to make a buck off the afterlife. Dinosaurs who sell the afterlife may not ever see the afterlife. They may end up someplace not so nice. Look what's waiting for you.

  [Louie shows Ethyl a door titled 'Place Not So Nice', as it opens, five replicas of Earl Sinclair are in the family room] 

  Earl : [five, in unison]  Hi, Ethyl! Come on in!

  Ethyl : [screams]  *No*!