- Lizz: If you want your kids to abstain from sex, yet you want them to have the knowledge about sex...
- Dr. Katz: Right.
- Lizz: ...The answer is simple: Use reverse psychology. Because I know if I was in junior high school, if my mom would've sat me down one day and said, "You know, dear, your father and I LOVE sex! God, I can't stop mounting, your daddy's a BEAST!", I would never stopped throwing up.
- Ben Katz: [driving Dr. Katz to work] I don't think it's a good idea for you to even... dispense therapy while you're on heavy medication.
- Dr. Katz: Yeah. Well, that's why I'm gonna take it real easy today.
- Ben Katz: Yeah.
- Dr. Katz: Y'know, just gonna do the classic, "uh-huh".
- Ben Katz: Don't push yourself.
- Dr. Katz: And maybe once, I'll throw in a, uh, "Did you hear what you just said?"
- Ben Katz: All right, good.
- Dr. Katz: But that's it. I'm not gonna take it any further, because I'm not in that kind of condition. Hey Ben, can I give you some advice about the passing lane?
- Ben Katz: Yeah?
- Dr. Katz: It's not a good place to do all your daydreaming.
- Ben Katz: Dad, I happen to be a pretty fine driver. Y'know.
- Dr. Katz: Just smooth, and easy.
- Ben Katz: Yeah. Like this?
- [taps the gas and brakes]
- Dr. Katz: Ow, th-that's the thing you don't want to do.
- Ben Katz: Right. Don't slam on the brakes.
- Dr. Katz: Exactly. Like that.
- Ben Katz: Or take any hard turns.
- Dr. Katz: [holding head] Uggghhh!
- Ken: In Vegas, food is real cheap and booze is free! Boy, they want you strong and wasted. After a while, I was sittin' there going, "Hit me!" "Sir, this is a roulette wheel." "Oh, it appears I've wandered off. I bet they're looking for these babies at that other place."
- [holding up two cards]