Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)

Pig Amok (1996)

Gregg Berger: Cornfed

Quotes 

• Eric Duckman : Anyway, I don't get it. All the women you've known and you've never had sex? Fed the meter? Shellacked the furniture? Jellied the doughnut? Booted the hard drive? Sent the pink Cadillac to Lube Masters for a tune-up? Knicknacked Patty's whack? Gave Ms. Pacman something to munch? Cast a secret ballot for Goomaster General? Studied spernography...

  Cornfed : Point made. And no, I don't base my relationships with women on sex?

  Eric Duckman : What else is there?

  Cornfed : Common interests, intellect, a shared humor...

  Eric Duckman : Uh-huh.