- Ally Barone: Daddy, what's an appointment?
- Raymond "Ray" Barone: Well honey, an appointment is when two people decide to meet.
- Debra Barone: Like going to the dentist.
- Ally Barone: Oh.
- Raymond "Ray" Barone: So, sleeping with me is like going to the dentist?
- Debra Barone: Well, we both say the same things. "Sit back, relax, you won't feel a thing".
- Ray Barone: [to Robert, after he accidentally tore off the top of his Christmas tree] You just hate anything bigger than you, don't you?