- Natalie Green: It's just so weird. A few days ago we were joking and laughing, now she's gone.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: When someone transfers to another school, she's gone. Cynthia's not gone. She's dead.
- Blair: Do you have to make it sound so brutal?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Dying is brutal.
- Blair: If I do lose, how will I save face?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Oh, you wanna save face? Do what they did in "Shogun".
- [mimicks hara kiri]
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: [about Cynthia] She'll be okay. She didn't really wanna kill herself anyway.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: What makes you say that?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: She set it up so you guys would find her. If she was really serious, she would've done it like my friend Gloria back home. She jumped off the school roof between history class and home ec.
- Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: Now Blair, I know you're going to be mature about this.
- Blair: How mature am I going to have to be?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: That kidney will never fit.
- Natalie Green: Why not?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Because it's a liver.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Here she is! The next student council president, Blair Warner!
- Blair: Thanks, Tootie, but they haven't counted the votes yet.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Yeah, last time I looked, there was another candidate.
- Natalie Green: Where is Cynthia?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Blair probably sent her on a cruise. The Bermuda triangle.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Blair, will you be a good sport, huh?
- Blair Warner: I'm always a good sport.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: No, you're always a good winner. A good sport is what you have to be when you lose.
- Blair Warner: All right. I'll try.
- [calls out in faked friendly tone]
- Blair Warner: Cynthia!
- [in most condescending way]
- Blair Warner: Congratulations!
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: No, no, no. No good. You don't sound sincere.
- Blair Warner: I said it. Do I have to mean it too?
- Blair: I'm yesterday's news. You might as well use me to wrap fish.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Or to line the bottom of a bird cage.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: If everybody killed themself because of a divorce, half the country would be wiped out.
- Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: You girls are under a lot of pressure, to achieve, to succeed, to fit in, to grow up. And I wanna tell you it's okay to feel confused and frightened and insecure, we all do. And when you feel that way, oh God, please talk about it.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: But what about people who have nobody to talk to?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: I was mad as hell too when my friend Gloria killed herself. I mean, one minute, we was splitting a tuna fish sandwich, and the next thing I knew, she was all over Columbus Avenue. No reason, no goodbye, no nothing.
- Blair Warner: Well, there's gotta be a reason. We just haven't found it yet.
- Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: We probably never will. Some kids reach a point where they can't see any other way out.
- Natalie Green: At 16, what could be so terrible that it would make you want to stop living?
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Blair, did it ever occur to you that you might lose?
- Blair: [pretends not to be worried:] Are you kidding?
- [then]
- Blair: Yeah. Every time I look over my shoulder, Cynthia's gaining on me.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Like two Rolls-Royces drag-racing.
- [laughs]
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Blair, I know the suspense must be killing you.
- Blair: Not really.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Well, it's killing me. I'm going upstairs to do what I do best. Snoop.
- Blair: [lost out on getting elected President of Student Council] I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Neither can I. I never dreamed you'd end up Vice-President.
- Blair: Oh, that has an ugly ring to it. I prefer to think of myself as co-president.
- Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Think of yourself any way you want. You're still number two.
- Blair: Tootie, will you do me a favor? Will you call Chuck and tell him I have to break our date tomorrow night?
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You're staying home on a Saturday night? This should be on "That's Incredible."
- Blair: Oh, tomorrow night's Saturday? In that case, call Tom. I'm supposed to go out with him tomorrow night. And then call Chuck, and cancel Sunday.
- Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [chuckling] Anybody I should cancel for Monday and Tuesday?
- Blair: No, it's a slow week.