- Mrs. Berg: Who signed this?
- Danny Amatullo: Actors Equity. That's why I'm late, I just came from them. And would you believe there's another Danny Amatullo?
- Mrs. Berg: In this school?
- Danny Amatullo: No, in Actors Equity and they don't allow it.
- Mrs. Berg: Why not?
- Danny Amatullo: Well, just figure it out, right, you see my name on a marquee, so you walk in, the next thing you know, you're watching some other guy. Come on, you're bound to be disappointed.
- Mrs. Berg: But what if he's great?
- Danny Amatullo: What, two Danny Amatullos and they're both great actors? Come on, what are the odds?
- Mrs. Berg: Well, is that Vegas odds or the Morning Line?
- Leroy Johnson: Look, Mr. Morloch, I have a lotta problems going on in my life right now. I swear to you this will never happen again.
- Morloch: We've all got a lot of problems, Johnson. I'm going bald, but I'm not late.
- Danny Amatullo: If you're here for a paternity suit, forget it. I haven't been near a woman for years.
- Danny Amatullo: No, you see, I kinda got this problem. You see, both of us are named Danny Amatullo, and both of us are actors, so I can't get into Equity.
- Danny Amatullo: Consider yourself lucky, young man.
- Danny Amatullo: Yeah, but if I never join Equity, then I'll never be able to act.
- Danny Amatullo: That's not true. I've been in Equity for fifty years, and I've never been able to act.
- Lydia Grant: He's a terrific assistant, don't say a word.
- Morloch: Well, if things keep on like this, you're gonna need an assistant for your assistant.
- Lydia Grant: Is he that crazy about kids?
- Jim Parker: He hates kids. I hate kids. But who cares what we like? Audiences love 'em and the big guy loves what audiences love.
- Lydia Grant: So in other words...
- Jim Parker: There aren't any other words, Miss Grant. Without that kid, there's no show.