- Holly Laird: You know, Doris, I always knew you had a big mouth, as big as the Mississippi, but I didn't know it was as dirty.
- Danny Amatullo: So all of you know, huh?
- Leroy Johnson: We all know.
- Danny Amatullo: [to Doris] I thought you promised.
- Doris Schwartz: I decided I lied, so sue me.
- Danny Amatullo: Let me tell you something: you guys start treating me any different then you did before, I'm gonna flatten both of you, you hear me?
- Doris Schwartz: Please, I'm in a training bra as it is.
- Quentin Morloch: Miss Grant, did you ever realize how much time you waste telling me things I can't do that I proceed to go right ahead and do anyway?
- Quentin Morloch: Amatullo?
- Danny Amatullo: Yes, sir?
- Quentin Morloch: [trying to find something appropriate to say] Nice sweater.
- Mrs. Berg: [on phone] Yes, this is Mrs. Berg. I'm sorry to bother you again, but I'm still looking for 'Passion in the Night'. Well, it must be out there somewhere, it didn't just up and disappear, did it? Oh, I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bark. It's just that I'm getting desperate. I'm willing to pay extra if I have to.
- Benjamin Shorofsky: [having overheard and misunderstood] Shorofsky, it's time for a sabbatical...
- Teenager: [smoking in a restaurant] What are you looking at?
- Dr. Pettibon: You. I want to remember you.
- Teenager: How come?
- Dr. Pettibon: [swallows a bite of her sandwich] So I'll remember you in about three decades time, when they ask me to cut you open and take out a lung. Have a nice day.