- Steve Urkel: [Steve has just realized that his firecracker powder formula has been accidentally used as stuffing for the chicken dinner's at Carl's promotion celebration; screaming] RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THE CHICKENS ARE LOADED!
- Eddie Winslow: [after the mini-firework loaded chickens dinners explode in front of the shocked guests] Uh... Are there any more requests?
- 3J: So why aren't you cooking at your house?
- Myra Monkhouse: Well my mother doesn't let me cook in the kitchen, she says it makes a mess.
- Steve Urkel: [boasting about Myra's cooking] She cooks me a lunch every day.
- [pats stomach]
- Steve Urkel: Look at this pot, I'm a whale!
- Commissioner Geiss: Winslow, do you know how hard it is to clean chicken grease off a glass eye?
- Carl Winslow: No, Commissioner.
- Commissioner Geiss: Well thanks to you, my wife is going to find out.