- [in their 1940s personas]
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series?
- Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals.
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Why would anybody want to kill her? And I like the Red Sox.
- Laura Lee Winslow: That's right, I don't know, and I still like the Cards.
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, face to face with Lady Death. Was this the long nap? The siesta grande? The eternal snooze? The hasta la-bye-bye?
- [to Laura]
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, what're you waiting for?
- Laura Lee Winslow: The narration to finish.
- [in the 1940s as Johnny Danger]
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Officer Wigglesworth as played by Carl] We're on the same side of the law. There's room for you and there's room for me... although let's be quite honest, you take up a lot more room than me.
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [as Johnny Danger, after being drugged] When I came to, I felt like Orson Welles was tap dancing on my head.
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [as Johnny Danger] One week later, on a dark and stormy night, I gathered everybody at the Wigglesworth house.
- Carl Winslow: Mr. Danger, it's a dark and stormy night, why have you gathered us here at the Wigglesworth house?
- Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, you wrote the story, why didn't you have Johnny end up with Laura?
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Bogart voice] Well, simple, sweetheart. I'm saving that ending for real life.