- Carl Winslow: What're you watching?
- Richie Crawford: Jurassic Convent.
- Harriette Winslow: Is that dinosaur eating a nun?
- 3J: That's what she gets for hitting him with a ruler.
- Carl Winslow: Mama, can I have another peanut butter Snickers sandwich?
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: No you can't.
- Carl Winslow: Why not?
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Because I'm your mother, Carl, not your grandmother, now hush up and watch the movie.
- Carl Winslow: You shouldn't let the kids eat their weight in junk food.
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: They had a hearty dinner.
- Carl Winslow: Like what?
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: We made some peanut butter sandwiches and then dipped them in melted Snickers.
- Harriette Winslow: Ooh, that does sound good.
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Remember when you were little, how excited you got when you stayed with your grandparents when your father and I went out?
- Carl Winslow: Yeah.
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: They spoiled you rotten.
- Carl Winslow: Well see, Mama? Didn't that make you angry?
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Why should it? Look how great you turned out. Carl, parents *have* to say no, but grandparents *get* to say yes!
- Carl Winslow: [going over the rules] No letting the kids eat junk food.
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll decide what's junk.
- Carl Winslow: No letting them stay up late.
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll decide what's late.
- Carl Winslow: And no letting them watch scary movies.
- Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll decide what's scary.
- Maxine Johnson: [painting their toenails] Laura... why are we sticking marshmallows between our toes?
- Laura Winslow: Because, Steve used all the cotton balls on his latest experiment.
- Maxine Johnson: What's that?
- Laura Winslow: Q-tips for elephants.
- Maxine Johnson: But who...
- Laura Winslow: Don't ask.