- Steve Urkel: Laura's got the highly infectious mucus-nasal-osis-inflamicus.
- Daniel Wallace: Oh my God! What is that?
- Steve Urkel: Well, it starts out with a little cough.
- [coughs]
- Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam.
- Daniel Wallace: Whoa, man.
- Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze... why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe.
- Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Hey, wait a minute. Hey, you could be making this whole thing up!
- Steve Urkel: Could. But, if I'm not, the last two words you'll ever say will be, "A Choo."
- Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a... a really special moment and... well, I think we should celebrate it by... getting married.
- Laura: No.
- Steve Urkel: Engaged?
- Laura: No.
- Steve Urkel: Going steady?
- Laura: No.
- Steve Urkel: A date?
- Laura: No.
- Steve Urkel: A kiss?
- Laura: No.
- Steve Urkel: A handshake?
- Laura: No.
- Steve Urkel: I'll see ya tomorrow?
- Laura: Yeah.
- Steve Urkel: I'll take it.
- Eddie Winslow: [Entering the room with Rachel, Judy, and Richie] Waldo. Waldo. Say, man, I'm dating three chicks right now, and it's getting kind of expensive with inflation.
- Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [Looks confused, then understands] Oh, I get it. They're not real girls. They're inflatable.
- Eddie Winslow: Waldo, just loan me $20 so I can take Amy to the movies.
- Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Use your noggin, Eddie. Just put Amy in your pocket 'til you get into your seat. Then blow her up.
- Carl Winslow: [in Laura's dream, at 110] What say we go upstairs and fool around?
- Harriette Winslow: Don't you remember, Carl? We already did.
- Carl Winslow: We did?
- Harriette Winslow: Yes, you were wonderful.
- Carl Winslow: Well of course I was... at what?
- Laura: [in Laura's dream, Richie and Judy are senior citizens] Judy! Richie! What happened to you guys? You got older, but you didn't get any bigger.
- Richie Crawford: [slowly] We didn't eat our vegetables.
- Judy Winslow: And we stayed up past our bedtime.
- Harriette Winslow: [in Laura's dream] Laura, we're 110 years old, and you're 90, we had to go to five different stores to get enough candles for your cake.
- Carl Winslow: [in Laura's dream where everybody's old] Let's sing 'Happy Birthday' to Lillian.
- Harriette Winslow: Laura!