- Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. We'll go camping together some other time. Just you and me. I promise, okay?
- Steve Urkel: Okay.
- Eddie: All right.
- [goes to leave]
- Steve Urkel: ...No, it's not okay! Eddie Winslow, front and center! Newsflash, Eddie! I have feelings. Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. A heart that hurts. And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. Well, that's gonna stop right now! I'm not your personal doormat.
- [pointing to Laura]
- Steve Urkel: I'm her doormat!
- Carl Winslow: Sir? You know, I don't believe I know your first name.
- Lt. Lieu Murtaugh: It's Lieutenant.
- Carl Winslow: 'Scuse me?
- Lt. Lieu Murtaugh: I had my first name legally changed when I achieved my present rank.
- Carl Winslow: Sir, what was your name before?
- Lt. Lieu Murtaugh: Sergeant