Family Matters (TV Series)

Torn Between Two Lovers (1990)

Jaleel White: Steve Urkel

Quotes 

• [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve] 

  Rachel Crawford : Oh, hi Steve.

  [Steve jumps] 

  Rachel Crawford : How are you?

  Steve Urkel : Mm-fine!

  Rachel Crawford : Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30?

  Steve Urkel : A-wha-ha-wha-wha-wha-wah?

  Rachel Crawford : Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend.

  Steve Urkel : Oh, I see. Oh, I see. I-I-I see.

  Rachel Crawford : Steve, are you sure you're okay?

  [Goes to feel his head] 

  Steve Urkel : [Runs across the couch to get away]  Fine, fine, fine!

  Rachel Crawford : Good. Look, Steve. I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. Can you help me out?

  Steve Urkel : Do I have to?

  Rachel Crawford : Well, Steve, I am your boss. But, I'd be willing to pay you.

  Steve Urkel : [Takes it the wrong way]  Gee... I wouldn't know what to charge.

  Rachel Crawford : How 'bout double the usual?

  Steve Urkel : The usual? Well... oh-okay.

  Rachel Crawford : Thanks Steve. You know what? You are such a sweetheart. Come here.

  [Pulls him into a hug] 

  Rachel Crawford : [He faints] 

  Rachel Crawford : Steve? Steve, what happened?

  Steve Urkel : Oh, nothing. Just blacked out for a second there!

• [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering] 

  Rachel Crawford : Honey, how long were you in there?

  Steve Urkel : L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair... Look!

  Rachel Crawford : I'll just take your word for it.