Father Ted (TV Series)

And God Created Woman (1995)

Rosemary Henderson: Sister Assumpta

Quotes 

• [after Ted's incredibly short mass] 

  Sr. Assumpta : We might not be coming back next year. They say Father Clippit does a good long mass. Three hours he does, on a good night. Since his stroke. That's value for money!

• Father Ted : Ah, Sister Assumpta!

  Sister Assumpta : Hello Father!

  Father Ted : Dougal, Dougal, do you remember Sister Assumpta?

  Father Dougal : Er, no.

  Father Ted : She was here last year! And then we stayed with her in the convent, back in Kildare. Do you remember it? Ah, you do! And then you were hit by the car when you went down to the shops for the paper. You must remember all that? And then you won a hundred pounds with your lottery card? Ah, you must remember it, Dougal!

  [Dougal shakes his head] 

  Sister Assumpta : And weren't you accidentally arrested for shoplifting? I remember we had to go down to the police station to get you!... And the police station went on fire? And you had to be rescued by helicopter?

  Father Ted : Do you remember? You can't remember any of that? The helicopter! When you fell out of the helicopter! Over the zoo! Do you remember the tigers?

  [Dougal shakes his head some more] 

  Father Ted : You don't remember? You were wearing your blue jumper.

  Father Dougal : Ah, Sister Assumpta!