Filthy Rich & Catflap (TV Series)

Episode #1.2 (1987)

Rik Mayall: Richard Rich

Photos 

Quotes 

• Richard Rich : Phew! That pipe whiffs like nobody's business!

  Edward Catflap : Richie, it's a sewer. It whiffs like everybody's business.

• Richard Rich : We've got two problems. No food, and the Nolan Sisters. What should we do?

  Edward Catflap : Eat the Nolans!

• Richard Rich : Oh yes, of course I have known Tarby for years. Yes, we've often performed in the same pants.

  [laughs at his own joke] 

  Richard Rich : Panto, love. Pantomimes. Ooh, we've done a few. Oh, Cinders, Alladers, Dickers Whitters. That was terrif. My Dick was fantastic!

  [more laughter] 

  Richard Rich : That's an old showbiz joke, love.

• Ivor Whopper : Ladies and gentlemen, everybody's favourite mother-in-law, Molly Slocombe!

  [canned applause] 

  Molly Slocombe : Oh, you're so lovely. I'd like to show you all me pussy.

  [canned laughter] 

  Molly Slocombe : In fact, I can't think of anything nicer than having you all stroking me pussy.

  [more canned laughter] 

  Richard Rich : Oh for God's sake, love, don't milk it, that's the third time you've done that gag, and you used to do it every ep of that appalling sitcom you used to do.

  [she punches him in the face] 

• Richard Rich : The Nolan Sisters. My all-time favourite four-tissue fantasy.

• Richard Rich : Let's have supper and decide what to do about those blackmailing Noles.

  Edward Catflap : We can't have any supper, we're completely broke and there's no food.

  Richard Rich : We're completely broke and there's no food?

  Edward Catflap : Shall I go for the big echo gag?

  Richard Rich : No, no time. We've got decide about those T.V. Noles.

  Edward Catflap : I could've done it in the time it took you to say that.

  Richard Rich : Alright then, bloody do it!

  Edward Catflap : Coo, this room's got an echo.

  Richard Rich : [pause]  Yes, I don't think Little and Large have much to worry about do you?