Firefly (TV Series)
Objects in Space (2002)
Adam Baldwin: Jayne Cobb
Quotes
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Jayne Cobb : Wha - are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne : Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the Beast.
Jayne Cobb : She's in Congress?
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne : How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.
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Jayne : Well, I don't like the idea of someone hearin' what I'm thinkin'.
Inara Serra : No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.
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[after River gets a hold of one of Jayne's guns]
Jayne : Let's move this conversation in a not-Jayne's-fault direction. I didn't make her crazy. Hell, I didn't even want 'er on the ship.
Mal : Is that the direction you want this conversation to go in?
Jayne : Just don't wanna take a lashin' for something I ain't the cause of.
Zoë : Where's River at now?
Mal : In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on.
Wash : That's a little extreme, isn't it?
Jayne : Anybody remember her coming at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash : Wacky fun.
Jayne : You wanna go, little man?
Wash : Only if it's someplace with candlelight.
Zoë : Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne : Butcher's knife!
Zoë : Anyone we can't spare.
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Jayne Cobb : So like, never?
Book : Well, no.
Jayne Cobb : Not ever never?
Book : Some orders allow Shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path.
Jayne Cobb : But, I mean, you still got the urge. They don't... cut it off, or nothin'?
Book : Mm, no, I'm more or less intact. I just... direct my energy elsewhere.
Jayne Cobb : You mean like masturbatin'?
Book : I hope you're not thinking of taking orders yourself.
Jayne Cobb : Oh, yeah, that'll be the day.
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Jayne Cobb : It ain't impossible! Saint Jayne, it's got a ring to it.
Book : I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed.
Jayne Cobb : I once hit a guy in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope. Don't that count upstairs?
Book : Oh, it'll be taken into consideration.
Jayne Cobb : You made that sound kinda ominous.
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Jayne : And if wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak.