- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
- Mal: Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carryin' a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.
- River Tam: My food is problematic.
- Jayne Cobb: Girl's a mind-readin' genius, can't even figure out how to eat an ice-planet.
- Zoë: First rule of battle, little one, don't ever let them know where you are.
- Mal: [comes running in shouting and shooting] Woo-hoo! I'm right here! I'm right here! You want some of this? Yeah, you do! Come on! Come on!
- [dives for cover from an explosion]
- Mal: Woo-hoo!
- Zoë: 'Course there are other schools of thought.
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: [speaking directly to the cow fetus that is being passed off as an alien] Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race and we must live in harmony.
- [Simon is standing in front of a jar carrying a mutated cow fetus]
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Oh my God! It's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar.
- Mal: And you never seen a man more proud of his moustache than Colonel Obrin. I mean, in all my life, I will never love a woman the way this officer loved that lip ferret.
- Tracey: You know, it's funny. We went to the war never looking to come back, but it's the real world I couldn't survive. You two carried me through that war, and now I need you to carry me just a little bit further, if you can. Tell my folks I wanted to do right by them, and that I'm at peace and all. When you can't run anymore, you crawl. And when you can't do that, well... Yeah, you know the rest.
- Inara Serra: The Lassiter is universally known. Fencing it is like... fencing the Mona Lisa.
- Mal: Well - The Mona who?
- Lieutenant Womack: And really, I was just bluffing with that talk about arresting you. I mean, who needs that kind of paperwork? Skunk, light him on fire.