- [to keep a party afloat, Martin has been forced to impersonate Mike Shaw, a painter]
- Jeremy: What impresses me the most is the way you reinvent identity while recording anonymity.
- Martin Crane: Well, that took years to get down.
- Alex: Sure. Sure.
- Thad: Come on, tell us: What do you think of Warhol?
- Martin Crane: [faux-contemplative pause] Crap.
- Thad: Kienholz?
- Martin Crane: Crap.
- Antonia: It is so refreshing to have someone speak so candidly.
- Martin Crane: And you have to believe me, because I'm a fancy-ass artist.
- [everyone laughs]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: As usual, Frasier has to save the day.
- Martin Crane: As usual, Martin has to hear about it.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Daphne's handling the food.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Lovely. So you'll be serving those sad brown chunks that make their way from plate to napkin, bypassing mouth completely.
- Dr. Niles Crane: It's called Piccadilly Beef, and I talked her out of it, thank God.
- Alex: [Alice innocently defaced a painting by a famous artist for the party so Roz has taken it to have it fixed by an art restorer but Daphne has left the drape over the easel so Niles and the guests won't think anything is amiss] Is this the Mike Shaw painting?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Yes.
- Alex: I'm dying to see it.
- Daphne Moon: Oh, oh sorry. No peeking. You have to wait until the unveiling.
- Alex: [chuckling] That sounds like a challenge. You're gonna have to watch me like a hawk.
- Daphne Moon: Won't that be fun!
- Antonia: Is it true that you still collect Edwardian utility bills?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh, yes, they're fascinating. For example, did you know that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a notorious water hog? But, you don't have to take my word for it!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You know if he had any resourcefulness at all, he'd know that miniature easels abound at Liliputia Dollhouse and Miniatures.