Frasier (TV Series)

Flour Child (1994)

Charlayne Woodard: Arlene

Quotes 

• Frasier : You know, my particular area of medicine is psychiatry. I like to specialize in the head, you know, not the lower portions of the body. It's much less messy that way. Not that your lower portion is messy at all. It's quite beautiful, actually... not that I'm looking!

  [Arlene screams in pain] 

  Frasier : Is the pain that bad?

  Arlene : No, you're driving me crazy!

  Niles : Don't drive her crazy.

  Frasier : Oh, shut up!

  Martin : [climbing out of the backseat and pulling Frasier out of the front]  Move it out of there! Come on!

  Frasier : All right, dad! All right! Just hurry up.

  Arlene : What, are you a doctor, too?

  Martin : No. I'm a retired cop.

  Arlene : Well, what took you so long? Oh! It's really hurting!

  Martin : I know. Look, everything's gonna be just fine, sweetheart. Now, I've delivered more than a... a few babies in my lifetime, and some of them are even older than you are now. Now, Frasier is gonna hold your hand and help you with your breathing, and Niles is gonna look out for an ambulance, and I'm gonna get ready to bring your beautiful baby into this world, okay?

  Arlene : Okay.

  Martin : Good. Now, are there any questions?

  Niles : Yes. Should our meter still be running?

• Arlene : I can't have my baby here.

  Frasier : All right, now listen, miss, there's no for you to be concerned. You happen to be in the presence of two trained medical professionals. Niles, help the woman.

• Arlene : [in labor]  Ahh! It really hurts!

  Niles : That's okay. It's natural.

  Arlene : No, you're squeezing my hand!

  Frasier : Oh, just get a hold of yourself, Niles!

  Niles : I'm sorry! I only did this once before, in medical school, and all I remember is a bright light and lots of blood and then a linoleum floor hurtling towards my forehead.

  Arlene : You fainted?

  Niles : Oh, switch places with me, honey, and see how you do!