Frasier (TV Series)

RDWRER (2000)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Martin : McGinty's going in for a bypass next month and he's afraid he might not make it out for St. Paddy's Day.

  Niles : This is a disaster.

  Martin : No, they'll just pop in another pig valve. You know, the only reason he needs it is because he eats so much bacon. So, the same thing that's killing him is keeping him alive. There's your "O. Henry" story.

• Cop : Well, well. You boys know what you did wrong back there?

  Martin : Yeah, we made a u-turn.

  Cop : Nope, you called me a goober.

• Daphne Moon : This is for you, from the DMV.

  Martin : Oh-ho, I know what this is, the custom plates I ordered for my Winnebago!

  [holds them up] 

  Martin : Yay! Well, fifty bucks, but I think it says it all.

  Frasier : "Erd... whirr-er"?

  Daphne Moon : "Rid Worry-er"?

  Frasier : "Red Wearer"!

  Martin : Oh, for God's sake! "Road Warrior!"

  Daphne Moon : Of course! For a retired man with a cane and a Winnebago, I don't know why my mind didn't go straight to it.

• Martin : [at the restaurant]  I wonder if you can still get sticky shingles here.

  Niles : One look at the salad bar says yes.

• Daphne Moon : Bloody hell! Five days after Christmas is over and I'm still getting these cards! They do it on purpose, you know. It's always from someone you forgot, and then it's too late to send one back, then they sneer at you for the rest of the year! "Peace and Goodwill," my ass! You just lost yourself a customer, Dr. Naran S. Gupta, D.D.S.!

  Martin : Losing a set of English teeth, he'll feel that!

• Martin : You kids used to love eating there. You'd scream out at me, "Dad, pull over, quick, pull over!"

  Frasier : Actually, Dad, that was after we ate.

• [Martin takes Eddie into the woods for a bathroom stop] 

  Martin : All right, Eddie. Let's go sign nature's guest book.

• Martin : We rolled back into Idaho!

• Frasier : [after seeing a farmer sitting at the bar]  Would you order that for me, Dad?

  Martin : Yeah. You're going some place?

  Frasier : As a matter of fact, I am. I'm going to take a chance and reacquaint myself with an old friend of mine: America.

• Martin : Well, you can't do a U-ey on an interstate.

  Frasier : That's twentieth century talk, dad. Welcome to the future.